Boy definition

SFW boy's love

2012.08.05 21:40 generationH SFW boy's love

Cute male/male things, not limited to Japanese art, anime, Western art, etc. photos/videos welcome!
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2015.08.21 05:41 Captain-Nemo FireteamOne_PS4

The PS4 branch of the Clan Fireteam One. We are a Destiny Clan for people looking for a fun group to do just about anything in Destiny. Whether you like PvP, PvE, or just orbiting, FireteamOne is the place for you!
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2020.10.29 03:13 sadthrowaway924 The Nurse Files Explained

The School Nurse files is weird. Like really off the wall weird, one of the strangest things I’ve seen in a while. I saw a lot of people online saying they didn’t like it because it didn’t make sense or they couldn’t understand it. Going into it I expected to see a drama that followed the regular format. There’s not necessarily a set format but there is a certain style to Kdramas and this one doesn’t fit into that box. It could be classified as absurdism, surrealism, or magic realism.
Absurdism is defined as “intentionally ridiculous or bizarre behavior or character.” Examples of this can be found in Plays like Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett. As well as books, movies and shows like Catch 22, Bojack Horseman, The Big Lebowski, and Rick and Morty. Absurdism usually focuses on the human tendency to seek meaning and value in a purposeless or chaotic and irrational universe.
Surrealism is described as “the principles, ideals, or practice of producing fantastic or incongruous imagery by means of unnatural or irrational juxtapositions and combinations.” Examples of this can be found in the play Rhinoceros by Eugène Ionesco (in which a small town of people slowly start turning into rhinoceros’s) as well as movies and shows like A ClockWork Orange, Twin Peaks, Beetlejuice, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It can also be seen in the works of Salvador Dali and Frida Kahlo.
Magic realism is explained as “a genre in which realistic narrative and naturalistic technique are combined with surreal elements of dream or fantasy.” Examples of this can be found in the play References To Salvador Dali Make Me Hot” by José Rivera as well as movies and shows like Donnie Darko, Scott Pilgrim vs. The world, Birdman, and Jane The Virgin. Matthew Strecher explains it by saying "what happens when a highly detailed, realistic setting is invaded by something too strange to believe." Magic realism is usually a separate genre from fantasy because in magic realism there’s realistic detail with magic elements included to make a point about reality. While fantasy is sort of separated from reality entirely.
At first I was unable to definitively classify The School Nurse Files under one of the 3 specific genres. After watching the first episode I could see why people were confused. It’s experimental and avant-garde in a way that usually isn’t seen in Kdramas. However after finishing the show I have come to the conclusion that it is surrealism. It’s not absurdism because none of the characters really ever seek meaning, no one asks how or why and they all sort of except their predetermined fate and the strange events that are happening at the school. The only deviation from this Baek Hye-Min, who decides she wants to live past the age of 20. However she never questions what her role is or why it has to be her. It’s not magic realism because the narrative isn’t realistic enough. Obviously there are themes of bullying and same sex love but other than that, every character just accepts the supremely weird circumstances they’re in without question or hesitation. Which isn’t realistic behavior. Not knowing what surrealism is and going into the show not knowing that’s what it’d be, is why it left a strange taste in most viewers mouth.
Some of the structures of a surrealist plot are as follows. * Deliberate abandonment of clarity, order and rational thought. * Confusing storylines * Illogical plot * Elements of fantasy * Chaotic universe with in the world of the story
Nothing is ever explained, who the safe and happiness group is, whether they’re related or the enemy of Ilgwang sterilization group. Who they are or where they came from. Who Baek Hye-Min is and where she came from. Why ghost copies of Oh Seung-Gwon where standing around the school. Why “Lucky” and “Ruckus” have an umbilical cord attached to their necks that connect them together. Why they’re attached, and why they’d die if it didn’t become unattached. It sort of made sense that it was connected to the hair at the base of their neck, but why it’s related to their armpit hair isn’t explained, or why whatever it is likes curly hair in the first place. Why does Mackenzie have seemingly more magical power than Ahn Eun-Young. Enough to the point where he put a hex on the boys on the basketball at the wish of Lee Ji-Hyeong, who then later was shown sweating profusely in the nurses office but after that is shown to be perfectly fine, absolving him of any consequences that would’ve proceeded his wish. Why does Hong In-Pyo have such a strange aura, what does it mean and why is it important to the happy and safe group. All these examples and the many more I’m sure I forgot about fall under deliberate abandonment of clarity, confusing storylines, and illogical plot. The examples of fantasy are much more clear, the jellies, the ghosts, the multiple occasions on which the students became possessed. The chaotic universe within the world of the story is the obvious one.
It doesn’t make sense because it’s not supposed to. Surrealism in its truest form is meant to feel like a dream. Where nothing is explained and by the end of it you’re left feeling confused. You don’t understand it because you’re not meant to. The School Nurse files was executed perfectly within the genre of surrealism. And the only way to enjoy it is to suspend your disbelief to an almost irrational level.
I loved it, but that’s because I like surrealism. A lot of people think it’s stupid. And their opinions are also valid. It could be said that most people didn’t like The School Nurse Files because they simply don’t like surrealism.
submitted by sadthrowaway924 to KDRAMA [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 03:05 ffwydriadd Death House Player Sacrifice ??

Okay, so, I started running a Curse of Strahd game, and they just cleared Death House (well, they're not quite out, but they defeated Lorgoth)
I brought in Lancelot, and around the fight with the ghouls one of the party members decided that she didn't care about the dog - always suggesting it go first to trigger traps, that sort of thing - so I wasn't really surprised that she said they should sacrifice it when it was brought up.
Nor was I surprised that the druid who had latched onto him was against it - but I wasn't expecting him to say "kill me instead."
He started begging one of the other party members to kill him instead of Lancelot - which really took me by surprise. I was wondering if he was going to have them use goodberry to revive him from unconsciousness, which would've been really bad for the fight coming up.
And then he wildshaped into a panther.
I was definitely playing it as "no matter what they do, Lorgoth is getting summoned" but boy howdy was I not expecting it to be so intense! Or to have our third session involve a player begging one of the others to kill him to save a dog...this is gonna be a fun campaign.
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2020.10.29 03:05 Embarrassed_Year9410 don’t read but...

don’t read, but if you do, read all the way
Section 1
FIRST THING FIRST
  1. Remember all Evil people are people to and that’s a fact “No matter how much you hate someone, there still human”
  2. if you something to just say it, remember I AM HUMAN, I HAVE been Traumatizedand sexual and Physically abuse, I can feel sad, mad ,Scared, and Hurt
  3. I didn’t choose to be sexually and Romantically Attracted to children
  4. I fucking HATE cutes, Seriously WTF
  5. NO ONE IS A FUCKING HIVE MIND, i’m not
facts about myself
  1. I plan to go see a Therapist for what Happened to me and not for being a paedophile because I don’t want to go to Jail Which Therapist are obligated to do
  2. I like Quantum mechanics I’m pansexual, Autistic have ADD and I’m 16 THIS IS IMPORTANT!
  3. haven’t raped or Violated a children, and I try and stay the fuck away from Children
  4. not going Anywhere near the dark web fuck child porn!
  5. I can’t Tell anyone else
  6. i’m a black 16 year old boy that Goes to high school
  7. I do not Romanticize Paedophilia this mens no “map Positivity”
  8. I I’m NOT trying to join the lgbt
  9. I Condemn rape/Molest
  10. I condemn child pornography
  11. I condemn staying/working around the subject and Actively try too Avoid it in General
  12. I condemn SEXUALIZING CHILDREN
  13. Anyone who breaks these rule 2 or 3 Twice should be removed them the Movement, anyone who breaks the rest of the rules is banned Permanently
i’m am About philosophy, Psychology and And overall be informative
section 2
Precautions
so I take Several precautions for my disorder and I feel like people don’t get how Seriously I take being a pedo, there is no pride, no Glory but pain Guilt, shame, Discusst and Discomfort. to prevent “the Incident” form happening, here are the Precautions I take [I’ll be adding more updates]
  1. STAY SANE Elaboration: don’t go Insane because you’re Mental health is the Key factor for maintaining the rest of the precautions. if you don’t keep your Sanity as best-you-can “the incident” can also occur. I make sure that I keep that Discusses, be Uncomfortable because one you stop being Uncomfortable, you start to like it.
  2. AVOID CHILDREN Elaboration: sometimes this Precaution conflicts with #4, in those Situations for me #4 is at the Bottom of the totem pole, for the most part sometimes. I try to avoid being in Situations/places where children are Involved, like not going to public pools or preschools.
  3. DO SOME RESEARCH There’s a lot of thing I might not have know about Paedophilia, and it gave me an Advantage.
  4. AVOID SUSPICION I never wanna get Connaught because if i do i know my family, friends and I will be Threatened and Bullied ,There’s so many negative Consequences and the only pro is that you get to talk to someone else about it.
  5. AVOID THE DARK WEB to stay away form CP, I know the dark web hates it too, but I don’t want to even Have access to that
  6. USE PHILOSOPHY Really really useful for my personal demons And mental health. more about it on section 7
  7. NEVER DEHUMANIZE I try and humanize people much as possible
  8. STAY HAPPY!!! happy people tend to not hurt anyone
  9. SELF IMPROVEMENT yay
Section 3
my Morals
the can’s
  1. something that doesn’t Cause Significant Suffering one’s self or other Innocents
  2. something just as or more affective as the alternative
  3. something that doesn’t Invoke fear out of spite
  4. Something that isn’t wasteful
  5. no Unfair punishment
  6. Thinking with emotions and NOT OR logic and facts
  7. Admitting the thoughts and feelings of yourself and or others are Wrong if questioned and Lead you to the opposite conclusion
  8. questioning socially agreed-upon Morals When doing so, do some research
  9. Assuming everyone is an individual even Animals,groups large or small and “evil people”
  10. Stand up for yourself! if you Figure it’s worth it
  11. Question this entire thing!
(NS) Stands for None Significant! it means anything That Violates #1 in the long run
Things that are bad or shouldn’t matter or are None Significant (NS)
  1. (NS)things that make others feel uncomfortable with the exception
  2. (NS)something that will make people stop being associated with you
  3. (NS)things that people may complain about or be offended by
  4. don’t complain for fair punishment
  5. (NS)something that can cause others to causes to Harm others
  6. (NS)Thinking with your emotions exclusively
  7. (NS)making a significant decision with out facts
  8. not questioning Your thoughts on a Subject you Speak about with the exception of entertainment
  9. not Assuming everyone is an Individual or Dehumanization
  10. Spreading false narratives of an Individual out of spite, Drama or greed
Don’t be lazy and or Impulsive if you disagree with something Actually think about it, then disagree.
Section 4
this is Extra content and you can Skip this part if you want
oh and... I love you sweetie bot fuck ya Catch those bastards!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPIHMTP6mP4
and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm932Sqwf5E
for A little more Context, MAP Stands for Minor Attractied person more Detail https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnRAVvck400&t=729s
Then there are the virtuous paedophiles
more detail https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-Fx6P7d21o
or https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtuous\_
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtuous_Pedophiles
I’m not Trying to normalize Paedophilia
I just don’t Want to suffer anymore
THIS is Important stuff
FUN FACT paedophiles isn’t a sexuality because by Definition
a sexuality has to do with Gendesex not age
I have A Genuine question for you, do YOU think i’m a bad person?
Section 5
I Actually been Molested in the Shower? (16M)
you can Skip this one too
I Suspected I’ve been raped, when I Realized it was happening to me a-lot in my lucid dreams and when all most all [Data redacted] had ben rape, then I started to Remember something... when I was a kid I was at Another persons
house maybe a Babysitters (F) or something anyway it was time too shower,
so me and her got our towels and Headed in the shower Together. she might have just have been Teaching me how to shower because she said stuff like “oh you might Wanna Wash you’re Penis and and Armpits before you wash The rest of your body” at one point she touched my penis.
she was behind me and Reached with both arms In front of me were my penis was, not that i could Remember, but when I’m Touched like that, even in my dreams well, I can’t really put how it feels into words,
she was a nice person and we played some Board games and She let me have garlic bread, some good ass garlic bread
Anyway the Question is, have I been Molested or was she just Teaching me how to shower?
molested I didn’t know the difference between rape and molest
section 6
A FOOLISH CAMPAIGN
let’s make a Campaign called # I’M HUMAN
read all the way please
the lgbt won’t except us and they don’t have too, we’ll make our own campaign
We are all-ready have a Community we just have to Expand it, tell people the TRUTH about paedophilia and Paraphernalia, the time is now if we never come out then Nothing will change I’m not telling you to come out IRL ,just on the internet, let’s go to Different subreddits and Educate people, remember fight the problems not the people and be Ethical.
post at night so theres less of a chance of you Getting banned
also less people to Deal with and it can “Drown” in the subreddit
also remember one evil might not be the other
Subject of Attraction/Object of attention. These are NOT interchangeable
SOA: kids, adults, Animals, Dead things,
OOA: Any non-living thing with the Exception of dead things because, Ethics
what #We’r human means
  1. we do not Romanticize Paraphernalia this mens no “map Positivity”
  2. we aren’t trying to join the lgbt this also means no Striped lgbt flags
  3. we Condemn rape/Molest
  4. we condemn subject pornography
  5. we condemn staying/working around the subject and Actively try too Avoid it in General
  6. WE ARE NOT ABOUT SEXUALIZING THE “SUBJECT” (Children,Animals,teens
  7. Anyone who breaks these rule 2 or 3 Twice should be removed them the Movement, anyone who breaks the rest of the rules is banned Permanently
we are About’s philosophy Psychology and And overall be informative
our Obstacles may be
  1. Overall ignorance and blatant insults
  2. the Media
  3. people who have been raped
In case you’re wondering, no one was on bard
Section 7
I’m getting stronger and staying san
There’s a difference between ethics and morality, morality is what you think is right and wrong, ethics is what the group thinks is right and wrong.
here’s how I Mature and get stronger Emotionally and Mentally
  1. using Philosophy USING PHILOSOPHY to Question Ethics, society and morality, : Paedophilia Psychopaths, or Neo-Nazis and Racists just Question it anyway, Remember you’re not questioning IF it’s wrong, your Questioning WHY it’s wrong, also Remember The facts are important, whether it makes sense or not, Whether it’s statistically Realistic. on Especially that last part,Doing this destroys stereotypes and and make’s me les Emotionally Imposter.
  2. COMING UP WITH NEW STRATEGIES
  3. ASKING MYSELF QUESTIONS
  4. and Finally Watch wholesome Memes!
also I really wont to Donate everything when I die
everything all my Organs all my Skin Even my bones everything when I die
READ THE REST OF THE POST BEFORE COMMENTING PLEASE
BE PHILOSOPHICAL
submitted by Embarrassed_Year9410 to anarchy [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 03:03 ElusiveMonty [Songs of Mercy] - Chapter 25

Read on Wattpad Read on RoyalRoad Support me on Patreon!
<< First < Previous Next - Releasing Soon!
To those who have been reading this story thank you for your patience with this delay. Life's been getting tricky during quarantine! I've been going through some important personal development and changes and putting focus on ways to make money has been a necessity.
I've often been the kind of guy who has made promises and had unforeseen circumstances get in the way of those promises. I feel I've learned many lesson this past month. One of them being responsibility, not only to others but to myself and my goals.
So, I won't say that I'm back for good or will be releasing regularly again. Because I've already said that. Actions speak louder than words. So all I ask is that you stick around, check in, and follow this story along. And see the progress I make. Book One is nearing its end and I'm very excited to keep going :)
Grateful to all of you who read this story -- my patrons listed below, as well as ZedZerker on Reddit, Cornmouth on Wattpad, Kat Sharp on Wattpad, JoyceMatula on RoyalRoad and BurlinDW on RoyalRoad. And to those of you I'm unaware of. Thank you so much.
The miles were long. The scare with Kip appeared to be over but it lingered in their minds. Whatever it was… they needed to move quickly. An early pregnancy was not something they had considered. Tobias felt like an idiot. He should have prepared for everything. Just… surviving everything immediately before them had been the most pressing matter for months. The day was indeed hot and they had a long trek before they reached the next town.
However, he held onto the one that got them through each day -- they could both move.
“There’s no pain,” Kip said. The sound of her voice said otherwise. Tobias knew how Kip sounded when she was sick. This was worse.
They walked at an even pace, her arm flung over his shoulder, moving in tandem with one another. Tobias hoped for a traveling merchant but he couldn’t waver his strength for that chance.
Getting back to Tat was not an option right now. Besides, they would pass through some towns. There were Herbalists and caretakers in the Scarred villages. Just not exactly the medicine or care they would need.
Kip halted and took a deep breath. “I think I’m okay now.”
“Kip.” Tobias took her hands.
“Moving like this is slower.” She gritted her teeth. “We can’t stop for long either.” She started to walk and Tobias hurried to catch right up next to her. “We’ve made it this far,” she said, looking into his eyes. “I’ve been through worse. We’ve been through worse. So let’s hurry to the next town.”
Tobias smiled. His heart pained him but he trusted in Kip’s strength. “Okay,” they both picked up the pace. The clouds kept coming in and giving them small reprieves in the shade. The cobblestone road was reassuring, as it meant civilization couldn’t be too far away. “I’m here if you need help.”
They were silent. Only the sounds of their heavy breaths could be heard. That and the sounds of the leaves rustling in the wind leaving them behind as they ventured into the wide open valley of the Scarred Lands.
 
Tobias was impressed by the resolution deep within Kip’s heart. Ever since they were kids he had known her as the girl with the sword. Always wielding a weapon. Always venturing into danger and doing what she desired.
And now, despite the pain and fear, she was moving. He didn’t know if she was truly okay or if she was toughing it out but it didn’t matter. Forward was the only option, the only direction. Wooden signs, some grown over with weeds, knocked down, or splotched with brown and white mushrooms guided their way. A small village by the name of Gnosh was the closest village to them.
They didn’t survive for nothing, he reminded himself. They didn’t make it this far for nothing.
They kept a steady pace. Jogging in quick bursts. Walking with long strides. Tobias checked on her often. Kip looked awful. Sweat poured down her face and her hair clung to her skin. Multiple times she stopped, grimacing and groaning in pain, but then she would move again, hand on her belly, moving as best she could.
Now, Tobias had her arm around his shoulders again, helping her along.
“Every step we get closer,” he kept saying. “Never forget that. Never forget that.”
Tobias thought back on that beautiful moment turned ugly. The Nadian Monarchs surrounding them… such a blessed moment. And then they all fled when that force of energy emerged from Kip’s body. The only explanation Tobias could conjure up was that their child was, in fact, Gifted. Cursed to the people of the Kingdom. That reality terrified him. The danger their child would be in had instantly doubled.
These huge, strange, mysterious powers within such a small body. How would they affect Kip?
Tobias couldn’t think. He was tired. Pushing himself. Helping Kip along.
They rested. Ran.
Walked. Rested.
For miles.
 
Kip was crying. Moving as much as she could. She was squeezing Tobias’ hand as the pain resurfaced and she was struggling to move. There was only so much Tobias could motivate from within her -- eventually it came down to a person’s physical limitations.
Over this hill… there had to be the village of Gnosh. There had to be. Step after step, Kip found some strength, faltered, sobbed and growled out her desire to keep moving.
And then.
Civilization. That was Gnosh, right below them. There were so many buildings, so many people.
“I’m going to shout, Kip. I’m going to get help. I’ll be back I promise.” He helped her sit down on the hill and he rushed forward, waving his arms. “HEY! Someone help! Please!”
Some people stopped and looked, either placing baskets down or lowering their gardening tools. Eventually, two strangers who were blurry figures in the distance, looked to each other and hurried toward Tobias.
Thank the Gods. The Goddesses. Whoever. Tobias thanked them all. A woman and a man rushed, the woman lifted her long dress as she ran, the man catching up to her very quickly. Tobias gestured for them to follow. He was so grateful that these people seemed so trusting.
“What’s the matter?” An elderly woman ran up to his side and Tobias was shocked she could move so fast. And then he realized she wasn’t elderly at all. It was just the skin. What looked like wrinkles were actually deep-set scars and discolored patches of skin. This woman must have been in her forties at the very least.
“Kip! My wife! Is pregnant!” Tobias nearly stopped in his tracks. It was the first time he had called Kip his wife to another person. Using their real names. It made him smile. And suddenly, he repeated it in glee, despite the circumstances, having a moment of happiness among the chaos. “My wife is pregnant!” He exclaimed.
But this was no time for relief or happiness. This was urgent.
“Something is wrong with her. She needs an herbalist. An Alchemist if you have one.”
The three reached Kip who couldn’t stand on her own any longer.
“Tobias…” she said desperately.
“It’s okay!” Tobias knelt down and looked up at the woman.
She tightened her fists and moved to the side of Kip with the man, looking at Tobias sternly. “The Red Alchemist,” she smiled wide. “He left not too long ago. Took the main road going North.” Tobias whipped his head around, then back to the woman. “You can catch him if you hurry! We will take her to my house and into bed.”
She and the man helped Kip up and Tobias nodded. “What’s their name?”
“His name is J’san. You can’t miss his red cloak. And my name is Pyria -- tell him we’ve brought him to my house.”
The woman helped Kip, who was sweating and barely able to stand on her own. Tobias walked alongside them, wanting to make sure Kip got where she had to safely.
“Tobias,” Kip heaved. She smiled weakly at him. “I’ll be fine. Maybe pregnancy is just this hellish.” She wobbled and the others helped her.
“We’ll take care of her,” said the tall man, who smiled kindly at Tobias.
“Hurry!” Pyria said. “We have an herbalist in town but they can only do so much!”
Tobias, wide-eyed, looked at Kip. “I love you Kip. I’ll be back.” He held her gaze for a moment, not wanting to leave her. He couldn’t, not with her in such pain… but he had to trust in these people of Gnosh. He turned and ran down the main road.
Tobias had always been fast. But now, he was running for something he had never run for before. It had always been for survival, to fight the odds, to prove they could keep on living. Some of that was still true in this case. But now… he was running for hope. Hope was right around the corner.
He pushed his body to the absolute limit, his sheathed sword bouncing against his leg. He felt weak at first, from all the traveling, but he didn’t stop. Breathing hard, slamming foot after foot onto the dirt path. Dust kicked up. He worked his arms and was out of Gnosh within seconds.
As he went down the cobblestone path he screamed for the Alchemist’s name. The power of his voice echoed for what sounded like miles.
 
Kip held onto the woman tightly. What was this… was it the baby? Perhaps. It was such an intense pain, as if something was biting her deep inside. It came again and again and she cried out, nearly falling to her knees.
But if Tobias could move like that, so could she. This woman and these people couldn’t move her on their own. She needed to help herself as well. Shakily, she gritted her teeth and walked.
“My house is this way. We can set you up in bed. Your husband will return with the Alchemist, I know he will.” She struggled with Kip and Kip did her best to push herself harder. Just to the house, that’s all, and then she could rest for a bit. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man run that fast in my life,” Pyria said.
Kip laughed and it sent a pain through her torso. Still, she smiled. It was nice to hear it from someone else. Husband. Made it feel real. “I know he will too. Yeah. He’ll fight for as long as it takes.” She breathed steadily, but her racing heart and inner jabs of fire distracted her from focused breath. She could feel nothing but pressure. Cramps. Heat. The sky was clouding over, though and it looked like rain.
The house was small but welcoming in the distance. Women and men all around them walked alongside, making sure they could jump in and help if needed. The entire village was gorgeous -- quite large for a village. Lines of homes, resting just on the side of a large patch of trees that seemed to lead into a forest.
Though, being suddenly alone among all of these people, Kip frowned. A fear of death struck her. The thought of dying among strangers on a cloudy day, without Tobias, without seeing her child, saddened her. Her heart raced and she clutched onto Pyria.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Others opened the door for them and they entered inside where it was a bit cooler. Pyria gave orders to others to gather water and fetch the herbalist. “It’s just a pregnancy. Scary. Painful, yeah. But that’s all it is. You will make it through this.”
Kip nodded. She herself said -- they had come this far. She had dealt with the pains and miseries of pregnancy for months. What was another day? And she had to think of their blessings… of the mysterious woman who protected them once before. Kip prayed to the stranger Goddess for safety. She prayed that, if these were her final moments, that she could at least see her baby and Tobias one last time.
Tobias wanted to cry but didn’t have the time or energy to do so. He was heaving and grunting. Cramps built up in his body but he breathed and clenched his fists through them. Trickles of rain felt nice but he feared that it would slow him down if it picked up. He shouted as he sprinted.
“J’SAN!!” Frantic breaths. Swallowing. More wails for the stranger’s name. “J’SAN! PLEASE HELP US!”
Tobias had never screamed so loud in his life. His throat was instantly aflame and stinging. He had been running for a while now. That Alchemist had made good distance. The fear of having missed him entirely raged through Tobias’ body -- every step took him further away from Kip.
A hill rose up in the distance. He slipped on a wet portion of dirt and caught himself on his hands. “No,” he growled to himself, picking himself right back up, his hands covered in dirt and suffering a couple cuts from the rocks. He wouldn’t stop moving.
And, much to his relief, as he climbed the hill, a red-hooded figure was down on the other side. The man was turned around, looking up at him. Tobias continued running. The man seemed to be on guard, of course, so Tobias slowed and halted before him and --
-- this was a teenager. Large blue eyes looked up at him, the young Alchemist a few feet shorter. . Tobias had no idea the village’s Alchemist was someone so young. It struck fear in his heart for the quality of care these Gnoshian people had.
Tobias shook his head. No, this was their only hope right now. Any chance was a chance.
“What’s the matter?” the Alchemist named J’san lowered his hood. “Who are you?”
“Please,” Tobias inhaled deeply and spoke as well as he could. “My wife. My best friend.” He grabbed the boy’s cloak. Tears fell from Tobias’ eyes. “She’s pregnant. In pain. We don’t know if something’s wrong. Please help us! We can’t do it alone.” Not with those strange powers emanating from within her. An Alchemist was exactly what they needed.
Tobias had heard stories of what Alchemists had done to the Gifted. But he had to ignore those rumors now. This was all they had.
J’san’s eyes became hard and he nodded. “Of course,” he said. “Back in Gnosh?”
“Uh--a woman! Named Pyria. She has her.”
J’san smiled. “Don’t worry. I will take care of her.” He grabbed Tobias’ arm and Tobias realized he was still grasping hold of J’san’s robes.
“Ah -- thank you. Sorry.”
“I’ve delivered many babies in these parts,” J’san said. “Come on, let’s go.” He hurried off. Tobias was going to run too but couldn’t keep up. His legs were weak and he definitely couldn’t run as fast as him right now.
“Go!” Tobias said waving his hand, J’san looking back at him. “Don’t slow down for me. Please just -- just make sure she’s safe!”
“You can count on me!” J’san ran up over the hill.
 
Thunder boomed in the distance.
Tobias dropped to his knees and took a moment to let himself regain some strength, even if it was for a moment.
Tobias closed his eyes and prayed to the woman who helped them before.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been a sinner. I’m sorry if I’ve done wrong. But please… help Kip. Let her be safe.” Now the tears came in full. He felt awful not being able to help.
But then, that moment of happiness struck him again. Maybe… just once, maybe this would end up alright.
“We’re having a baby,” he whispered to himself through the tears. She would do it. She was strong and healthy. After all this time. For what felt like years of hiding and running, they were finally going to say hello to the member of their family that had been on their way for so long. They were finally going to be a family. After collecting their papers from Tat, they could start a new life in the Republic.
Tobias smiled and turned his head up to the sprinkling rain.
Something struck him in the back.
Sharp and heavy. Piercing his flesh. Tobias lost air and flopped onto his stomach. The only thing he could hear was a loud whistle as the thing that entered him removed itself. All thoughts vanished from his mind, exploding into pure pain in his back and chest.
Tobias finally caught his breath and turned onto his side, taking in as much air as he could, working his lungs. What… what was that? No. No, he had to get up and move, there was no time for whatever this was.
He got up to a crouch and looked behind him, seeing a group of four people approaching. They ranged in size and shape. One of them held out their arm and a bird circled round and landed on it. A Hawk. Tobias could see as they got closer, now standing about a dozen feet away, blood dripped from its beak. He groaned and forced himself up onto his feet, the pains from breathing far too intense. Mixed with his exhaustion he truly felt like he would die.
“Hi there,” shouted the man with the Hawk. “Looks like we finally found you.” He rolled his shoulders. “A faint scent for our Hawk friend here, but just enough it seems.”
“Yes! Yes!” shouted a woman to his right. “Let’s just kill him. Okay? Can we just kill him?
“He has a sword… it’s mine,” licked the lips of the largest man of the party.
A fourth, who looked no older than ten remained silent, his eyes fixed steadily on Tobias.
Tobias stared at them. They had a Hawk… a faint scent. The potion he and Kip had been drinking… from all the sweat and now the rain, had it…?
N--
No…
They were from Shieldhome. After all this time… the fortress-home still had people looking for him and Kip. His heart became heavy. After all this time… they were still hunted. They were still in danger.
They had come so far. But now was it all over?
Was it hopeless from the very beginning?
“Who… who are you?” Tobias managed to say, getting to his feet. He already knew why they were here. But they didn’t seem to be Knights of any kind he recognized. They weren’t even armed. But they had a Hawk. And they probably had more in a dormant state in their pockets. The warmth of the blood slowly weighed upon his tunic. It was a deep stab but probably nothing too serious. For now, anyway. Why didn’t they just kill him? Were they the type to make their targets suffer? Did they want to bring them into Shieldhome to be tortured first to pay for their sins?
“Well,” the one who was seemingly the leader of the group spoke up again, “My name’s Kill.” His grin was disgusting. It sent a vile feeling throughout Tobias. “We’ve spent a long time trying to find you. Seems like our proximity to each other was just enough so our Hawk could track you down. Lucky us.”
“You’ve been avoiding Hawk detection somehow, haven’t you?” The young boy spoke up. He didn’t look like the rest. The rest appeared dirty and aggressive. A hint of desperation on them. This kid, however, had a calm demeanor. True inquisitiveness in his voice. “Probably Alchemy of some kind. Dampen the scent of your blood.”
Tobias spat. “So. You’re here to kill me then?”
The man named Kill shrugged and stepped forward. “Yeah,” he said nonchalantly. “But before we do, there’s another right? A woman. With a sinful little monster in her belly, like us.”
Tobias clenched his teeth. He had no idea what that was supposed to mean. Did the Church hire some sinful births to do their dirty work? He glared at the man and brought his hand to the hilt of his sword. “She’s dead,” he said. It hurt him to say. He hoped speaking the words aloud would not make it become a reality. “So you’ve won in purging Nadi of those sinners. Now there’s just me.”
Kill chuckled and pushed his hair back. “Ah. I don’t believe you.” He sighed and looked down, kicking his boots in the dirt. He shoved his hands in his pockets and the Hawk’s mechanical wings went to work, the creature repositioning itself up onto Kill’s shoulder. “Listen. We’ve been through some real shit trying to find you both. Well, I guess you three. Delays. Near-death. Getting lost. And,” he smirked and leaned forward, bringing his hand to the side of his mouth, feigning a whisper, “Between you and me, traveling for months with these people isn’t exactly a fun time. Being out of our cold cells has been nice. But we can’t be out here forever.” He stood up straight again and tapped his head. “Eventually they’ll blow our brains into bits. Don’t want to take too long. So let’s hurry this up and have you tell us where the others are.”
“Your Hawks can’t find them because they’re dead.” Tobias held his gaze. “I buried her miles away. Both her and my baby.” He drew his sword. “There’s only me.”
Huge thank you to my Patrons!
D1M
Jack
Roy
Sonia
Linda
I couldn't do this without all of you. Thank you for helping me pursue this passion <3
submitted by ElusiveMonty to redditserials [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 03:03 Embarrassed_Year9410 goodbye reddit I really Enjoyed this

don’t read, but if you do, read all the way
Section 1
FIRST THING FIRST
  1. Remember all Evil people are people to and that’s a fact “No matter how much you hate someone, there still human”
  2. if you something to just say it, remember I AM HUMAN, I HAVE been Traumatizedand sexual and Physically abuse, I can feel sad, mad ,Scared, and Hurt
  3. I didn’t choose to be sexually and Romantically Attracted to children
  4. I fucking HATE cutes, Seriously WTF
  5. NO ONE IS A FUCKING HIVE MIND, i’m not
facts about myself
  1. I plan to go see a Therapist for what Happened to me and not for being a paedophile because I don’t want to go to Jail Which Therapist are obligated to do
  2. I like Quantum mechanics I’m pansexual, Autistic have ADD and I’m 16 THIS IS IMPORTANT!
  3. haven’t raped or Violated a children, and I try and stay the fuck away from Children
  4. not going Anywhere near the dark web fuck child porn!
  5. I can’t Tell anyone else
  6. i’m a black 16 year old boy that Goes to high school
  7. I do not Romanticize Paedophilia this mens no “map Positivity”
  8. I I’m NOT trying to join the lgbt
  9. I Condemn rape/Molest
  10. I condemn child pornography
  11. I condemn staying/working around the subject and Actively try too Avoid it in General
  12. I condemn SEXUALIZING CHILDREN
  13. Anyone who breaks these rule 2 or 3 Twice should be removed them the Movement, anyone who breaks the rest of the rules is banned Permanently
i’m am About philosophy, Psychology and And overall be informative
section 2
Precautions
so I take Several precautions for my disorder and I feel like people don’t get how Seriously I take being a pedo, there is no pride, no Glory but pain Guilt, shame, Discusst and Discomfort. to prevent “the Incident” form happening, here are the Precautions I take [I’ll be adding more updates]
  1. STAY SANE Elaboration: don’t go Insane because you’re Mental health is the Key factor for maintaining the rest of the precautions. if you don’t keep your Sanity as best-you-can “the incident” can also occur. I make sure that I keep that Discusses, be Uncomfortable because one you stop being Uncomfortable, you start to like it.
  2. AVOID CHILDREN Elaboration: sometimes this Precaution conflicts with #4, in those Situations for me #4 is at the Bottom of the totem pole, for the most part sometimes. I try to avoid being in Situations/places where children are Involved, like not going to public pools or preschools.
  3. DO SOME RESEARCH There’s a lot of thing I might not have know about Paedophilia, and it gave me an Advantage.
  4. AVOID SUSPICION I never wanna get Connaught because if i do i know my family, friends and I will be Threatened and Bullied ,There’s so many negative Consequences and the only pro is that you get to talk to someone else about it.
  5. AVOID THE DARK WEB to stay away form CP, I know the dark web hates it too, but I don’t want to even Have access to that
  6. USE PHILOSOPHY Really really useful for my personal demons And mental health. more about it on section 7
  7. NEVER DEHUMANIZE I try and humanize people much as possible
  8. STAY HAPPY!!! happy people tend to not hurt anyone
  9. SELF IMPROVEMENT yay
Section 3
my Morals
the can’s
  1. something that doesn’t Cause Significant Suffering one’s self or other Innocents
  2. something just as or more affective as the alternative
  3. something that doesn’t Invoke fear out of spite
  4. Something that isn’t wasteful
  5. no Unfair punishment
  6. Thinking with emotions and NOT OR logic and facts
  7. Admitting the thoughts and feelings of yourself and or others are Wrong if questioned and Lead you to the opposite conclusion
  8. questioning socially agreed-upon Morals When doing so, do some research
  9. Assuming everyone is an individual even Animals,groups large or small and “evil people”
  10. Stand up for yourself! if you Figure it’s worth it
  11. Question this entire thing!
(NS) Stands for None Significant! it means anything That Violates #1 in the long run
Things that are bad or shouldn’t matter or are None Significant (NS)
  1. (NS)things that make others feel uncomfortable with the exception
  2. (NS)something that will make people stop being associated with you
  3. (NS)things that people may complain about or be offended by
  4. don’t complain for fair punishment
  5. (NS)something that can cause others to causes to Harm others
  6. (NS)Thinking with your emotions exclusively
  7. (NS)making a significant decision with out facts
  8. not questioning Your thoughts on a Subject you Speak about with the exception of entertainment
  9. not Assuming everyone is an Individual or Dehumanization
  10. Spreading false narratives of an Individual out of spite, Drama or greed
Don’t be lazy and or Impulsive if you disagree with something Actually think about it, then disagree.
Section 4
this is Extra content and you can Skip this part if you want
oh and... I love you sweetie bot fuck ya Catch those bastards!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPIHMTP6mP4
and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm932Sqwf5E
for A little more Context, MAP Stands for Minor Attractied person more Detail https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnRAVvck400&t=729s
Then there are the virtuous paedophiles
more detail https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-Fx6P7d21o
or https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtuous\_
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtuous_Pedophiles
I’m not Trying to normalize Paedophilia
I just don’t Want to suffer anymore
THIS is Important stuff
FUN FACT paedophiles isn’t a sexuality because by Definition
a sexuality has to do with Gendesex not age
I have A Genuine question for you, do YOU think i’m a bad person?
Section 5
I Actually been Molested in the Shower? (16M)
you can Skip this one too
I Suspected I’ve been raped, when I Realized it was happening to me a-lot in my lucid dreams and when all most all [Data redacted] had ben rape, then I started to Remember something... when I was a kid I was at Another persons
house maybe a Babysitters (F) or something anyway it was time too shower,
so me and her got our towels and Headed in the shower Together. she might have just have been Teaching me how to shower because she said stuff like “oh you might Wanna Wash you’re Penis and and Armpits before you wash The rest of your body” at one point she touched my penis.
she was behind me and Reached with both arms In front of me were my penis was, not that i could Remember, but when I’m Touched like that, even in my dreams well, I can’t really put how it feels into words,
she was a nice person and we played some Board games and She let me have garlic bread, some good ass garlic bread
Anyway the Question is, have I been Molested or was she just Teaching me how to shower?
molested I didn’t know the difference between rape and molest
section 6
A FOOLISH CAMPAIGN
let’s make a Campaign called # I’M HUMAN
read all the way please
the lgbt won’t except us and they don’t have too, we’ll make our own campaign
We are all-ready have a Community we just have to Expand it, tell people the TRUTH about paedophilia and Paraphernalia, the time is now if we never come out then Nothing will change I’m not telling you to come out IRL ,just on the internet, let’s go to Different subreddits and Educate people, remember fight the problems not the people and be Ethical.
post at night so theres less of a chance of you Getting banned
also less people to Deal with and it can “Drown” in the subreddit
also remember one evil might not be the other
Subject of Attraction/Object of attention. These are NOT interchangeable
SOA: kids, adults, Animals, Dead things,
OOA: Any non-living thing with the Exception of dead things because, Ethics
what #We’r human means
  1. we do not Romanticize Paraphernalia this mens no “map Positivity”
  2. we aren’t trying to join the lgbt this also means no Striped lgbt flags
  3. we Condemn rape/Molest
  4. we condemn subject pornography
  5. we condemn staying/working around the subject and Actively try too Avoid it in General
  6. WE ARE NOT ABOUT SEXUALIZING THE “SUBJECT” (Children,Animals,teens
  7. Anyone who breaks these rule 2 or 3 Twice should be removed them the Movement, anyone who breaks the rest of the rules is banned Permanently
we are About’s philosophy Psychology and And overall be informative
our Obstacles may be
  1. Overall ignorance and blatant insults
  2. the Media
  3. people who have been raped
In case you’re wondering, no one was on bard
Section 7
I’m getting stronger and staying san
There’s a difference between ethics and morality, morality is what you think is right and wrong, ethics is what the group thinks is right and wrong.
here’s how I Mature and get stronger Emotionally and Mentally
  1. using Philosophy USING PHILOSOPHY to Question Ethics, society and morality, : Paedophilia Psychopaths, or Neo-Nazis and Racists just Question it anyway, Remember you’re not questioning IF it’s wrong, your Questioning WHY it’s wrong, also Remember The facts are important, whether it makes sense or not, Whether it’s statistically Realistic. on Especially that last part,Doing this destroys stereotypes and and make’s me les Emotionally Imposter.
  2. COMING UP WITH NEW STRATEGIES
  3. ASKING MYSELF QUESTIONS
  4. and Finally Watch wholesome Memes!
also I really wont to Donate everything when I die
everything all my Organs all my Skin Even my bones everything when I die
READ THE REST OF THE POST BEFORE COMMENTING PLEASE
BE PHILOSOPHICAL
submitted by Embarrassed_Year9410 to u/Embarrassed_Year9410 [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:57 RobinAnonymous I’m a cast member in your favourite TV show, and I’m becoming my character.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
-
I can't write to you anymore.
I can't express how I feel right now through writing, because numbness is something I don't know how to describe. Fear is something I've come to know well. But for me, it's just sitting here and staring into space. I used to be scared of dying, but I would take dying over the inevitable. Anything over this; allowing James and his army of white to pluck my consciousness from my body, replacing me with Katie. Sweet Katie. Perfect Katie. The girl-next-door. The modern Nancy Drew.
Katie is loud. Katie counts the clouds, and smiles at the moon. She urges me to try and escape. "The door is unlocked, Robin," she mutters into the back of my skull. Her voice is scathing, almost teasing. Nothing like I portray her. "Why don't you try the handle?"
It's hard to block her out, It's getting harder. Because as the minutes and hours pass by, I'm starting to subconsciously agree with her. Yes, I guess the moon is beautiful.
It's dark outside, and I can see it poking from an expanse of clouds. It's rained most of the night, and I've followed every drop on the window. Katie hates the rain, so I made sure to memorise and treasure each raindrop. Part of me hoped she would get tired and leave me alone. Sometimes she does, but all night, she's been there, pushing further and further inside my head, sliding into every gap and crevice, spiderwebbing into my being.
That's why I wrote to mom. Katie's parents are dead. They died when she was four, in a total cliché plot device that's well known. A car crash. Ever since then, she's lived with her aunt, and is determined to solve the mystery of why her parents died that night.
So, to sever myself from her, I thought about my mom. I had to get it out. I had to talk to my mom for the last time, and I know I can trust you to find her. Maybe don't show her everything. I wrote from my heart, which I know is dangerous. My mom can't know what's happened to me. It will break her. All I want her to do is notice. I want her to notice that the girl playing Katie Parker is no longer me.
That's all I want. Because the voice in my head is getting stronger, and I can't stop her. I've tried, believe me. Katie isn't just a phantom presence in the back of my mind anymore. She's a real thing, a tumour eating away at my brain. Memories that I hold close, they're splintering apart piece by piece, and all I can do is wait for her to leech onto every piece of me until there is nothing left. And then I began to write. I guess I got carried away. My thoughts are tangled, and everything I write looks wrong. It's almost like I'm looking through a foggy mirror. Everything I type looks like I'm writing in a different language. Is that normal? Is this my body's way of telling me it's ready for stage four?
Part of me knows where I'm headed, but I don't want to believe it. I want to stay in denial. I don't know how to tell you how scared I am right now, because there is no way to tell you through a phone screen. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but I can't stop. I can't stop writing down the same thought, over and over again. I'm scared, I'm so fucking scared, and I don't know how to put it into words.

Firstly, I want to start by thanking you, once again. To everyone who has stuck by me, continuing to read our story. I can't thank you enough. It breaks my heart knowing you actually care about me. Not just me. The others too. So I ask you this. Even if I don't post anything else, even if it becomes clear that I'm gone, I want you to keep asking questions. Keep demanding to know what is going on. Spread my story on social media, even if it sounds ridiculous. Don't give up on us. Even if we're gone, you have to expose the show. I'm going to try and do my best to tell you who we are, without saying our names.
You have to track down the others families. Rory is from a small town in England called Sheffield. His father owns a record store, and his mom is an English teacher.
Izzie is originally from Mexico. She has a mom and three sisters, and they live in Maine.
Noah's parents live in New York, as do Lana's. Noah's dad is an author, and Lana's mom is a nurse. I know it's not much, but it's all I can think of right now.
Promise me you'll find their parents, somehow.
Promise me you'll tell them. Because I can't. I want to, but I can't.
When I think I'm okay, when I think I'm myself, Katie reminds me that I'm not.
I'm going to start from my last update. I'm not sure when it was. Someone commented that my phone has been tampered with, and you're right. It's not only been charged, but the date has been set to June 3rd, 2008. The time is always 12:00. It never moves, so I'm using the passing of night and day to record how much time has passed. It's been days, but I don't know how many. I've been out of it for most of them, but I'll get to that.
The last time I updated you, an epi-pen and a note had been pushed under my door. I managed to read the comments, and it was clear to me that the only option I had was to take it. Even if I was scared. Paranoid. Terrified that it was some kind of trick. I had to take it. Because in my mind, the same thought was plaguing me. It was relentless, screeching inside the back of my head. I had killed my castmates. While they had been halfway through the stage four procedure, I'd stopped it, and bringing it to a halt had killed them. That's all I could think about. It was sending me crazy, hysterical, pacing my room. I couldn't stop looking at Rory's bed. I couldn't stop thinking about the startling claret river running from his nose and mouth, like a horror movie.
His flickering eyes that were skyward. They didn't look at me. They didn't look at anything. Anyone. They were soulless, staring into oblivion, an endless empty space.
I don't know how long I paced. The epi-pen was clutched in my fist, and I couldn't let go of it. My mind was roaring. Why me? I kept thinking. My heart ached. My lungs felt like they were on fire. Why me, and not them? Why was this person so insistent on getting me out? Was it because the others were dead? The note was scrunched up on the floor, where I'd thrown it, and the needle in my fist felt more and more prominent, stuck to my clammy palms. Time passed slowly, and I sat on my bed and waited for Rory to come back.
Sitting cross-legged like a kid, I waited for the door to open, and James to shove my disgruntled castmate into the room. He would be okay, I told myself. Maybe he might not be the Rory I knew, but he would be okay. Rory would climb into bed without saying anything as usual and curl into himself like always, burying his head of chestnut curls into lavender coloured pillows. After several minutes of silence he would start snoring, and I'd end up shoving my own pillow over my head to block out the noise.
Except...no. Rory didn't come back. I was living a fantasy where he was still alive, still living as my roommate, trapped in our own little hell that we shared together.
But I still waited, until it became clear to me he wasn't coming back. That he was downstairs, strapped down, while James Marley emptied him out. Everything that was Rory, my best friend, was gone. The bright red numbers on my bedside clock ticked by, and I stared at the door until my eyes grew heavy. Maybe I could open it with the sheer force of my own mind, was one particularly hysterical thought.
The shot was still in my hands, and I swallowed bile at the back of my throat. I'd been trapped inside the room for endless hours that bled into night and day. Sun and moon. After a while I started to think about the possibility of getting out. My mind began to weave scenarios in my head, bringing them to life in front of my half lidded eyes. Escape. It was all I wanted. I could go back to mom. I could finally wrap my arms around my mother and break apart into her chest. I would tell her everything, and she would squeeze me tighter. I'd be safe.
I'd be home.
One stray thought kept me aware, however. When I was running the point of the pen down my arm, searching for a vein, one thought stopped me from shoving the needle in.
The others. I couldn't leave them. If they were still alive, if they were still being put through James' torturous experiments, how could I leave them to suffer?
"They're dead, Robin."
Not Katie's voice. Mine. My own voice teetering on the edge of my thoughts.
Not dead, I thought, shivers slipping down my spine. My eyes burned, but I couldn't fucking cry. I couldn't cry, and I couldn't stand it. Not dead.
Worse.
I don't know what possessed me to use the epi-pen. There was a pinch, followed by a sharp sting. Though I barely noticed the point sliding in. Maybe it was the haunting memory of Rory coming back to startling awareness, the terror in his eyes when he grabbed my shoulders, violently shaking me. His voice was still there, a phantom cry.
Fuck. I remember stabbing it in again. Harder, while his voice danced around the back of my mind, bleeding into me. I felt him. I felt all of him coming to life inside of me.
"Robin?"
The slur of his English accent that rolled off of his tongue sparked something inside me.
"Robs? You're still in there, right?"
Yes. I wanted to scream. Yes, I'm here!
I didn't reply.
Rory had been awake, he'd been awake, and I had done nothing. I couldn't. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. My castmate was begging me with his eyes to respond, but the words were caught in my throat. I could have done something. I could have given up my façade, and stand with him. It wasn't much, and the likelihood of getting away was slim.
With that thought, the memory of myself standing there, still. Numb. Just staring back at him. Something hit me, a tumultuous wave of ice water. I dug the pen in deeper, biting my lip against a cry. The needle slicing into my skin was barely noticeable. Instead, it was the memory that was killing me.
Tipping my head back, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to focus on the peeled paint on the ceiling.
I was seeing Rory stumbling into a guard's arms, unsteady on his feet. Warm browns wide, lips twisted. He wasn't looking at me when the guard thrust a needle into the flesh of his neck. Rory was staring at Noah. His expression had been twisted, confused, terrified.
"Noah! What the hell are you doing? Snap the fuck out of it!"
But we could have ran. I could have grabbed his arm, and ran.
I could have fucking ran.
Why didn't I? Why did I just stand there? Why did I let them take him?
After hiding the empty pen, as well as the note and the bag, I crawled back into bed with my arm stinging, forcing myself not to look at the other side of the room.
I wouldn't think about Rory.
Laying back, I found myself in the foetal position, pressing my face into my covers. I don't know how long I lay there. I don't remember falling asleep, only waking. Of course I did- my body was shaking so hard that I rolled off my bed, landing on the carpet with an audible thump. At first I thought it was an earthquake, but it wasn't the room that was convulsing. It was me. I couldn't move.
My mouth was open, and I was screaming.
At first I didn't notice it. My trembling body was enough to send my thoughts into a tailspin, and I wondered if this was it. Maybe they were planning to get rid of me.
Maybe they didn't need Katie Parker. If the others were dead, they wouldn't need me, right? Killing me would make sense. The show would release some bullshit story that all five of us had gotten into a car collision, or overdosed on Class A's.
But then I realized my body was burning. There was fire in my veins, and I was screeching. I couldn't stop myself. My limbs were deadweight and I couldn't open my eyes. All I could do was burn, thrashing side to side, my head spinning itself off its axis.
The door flew open. I was aware of that. Panicked footsteps ran through, and two pairs of hands lifted me from the ground. But I was still shaking. I was still screaming.
"Robin! Dear god, what the hell is going on?!"
James.
His voice was a sharp hiss, and I sensed fear in his tone. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't stop screaming, even when I tried to swallow it down, it crept back up like vomit. I felt myself hanging from someone's embrace. My head wouldn't stay up, and the sickly stink of James' cologne drifted into my nose when he leaned in close.
"She's barely responsive." He shouted, over my screams. "Get her downstairs!"
Voices flooded my mind. They sounded like they were underwater.
"Sedate her!"
"Marley, what happened to her?"
"The stupid brat probably had an allergic reaction. Can someone please get her medical records? Now! The last thing I need is Katie Parker's body giving up on us!"
Life flickered in and out of focus. I felt myself being lifted into warm arms. I was carried, my arms hanging limp. I stopped screaming when something cold sliced into my wrist. The fire was put out, and instead there was warmth which filled my body. I felt multiple hands on me, prodding and poking, needles and tubes being stuck into me.
I stopped shaking, and found sleep. Finally, sleep. The type of slumber I'd missed.
Life came back to me in the form of a hard slap across the face.
"Miss Harley." James' voice. As usual, it was cruel and grating.
"Open your eyes for me, sweetheart. There's a good girl."
There was impatience in his tone, and my body was already responding to his voice. My eyes flickered open. I was greeted to bright white light glaring down at me. There was something protruding inside my nose. Something plastic. Something I wanted to rip away.
When I tried to, I found my wrists restrained to the bed I was lying on.
Panic settled in, but whatever words I was trying to coerce on my tongue were interrupted by James' chuckle. "Ahh, finally."
I swivelled my eyes to him. He was standing over me. Arms folded. Smiling. There was a twist in his lips. "Dear God, Robin, we nearly lost you."
No, I thought, curling my lip. They had nearly lost Katie.
I didn't say that. His expression told me to stay quiet. Obedient. So I did. Forcing my gaze away from his twinkling eyes, I automatically began searching for my castmates. But the room was different. It wasn't 309, and there was no sign of any of them.
"Miss Harley?" A voice that sounded like wind-chimes made me jump, and a young nurse appeared next to James. She looked around my age, maybe older. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, mocha skin glistening under sickly yellow lights. Her smile was kind, but I ignored it.
The woman leaned forward, and I tried to move back, but was obstructed by the mountain of pillows cushioning my head. "Robin, my name is Doctor Carlisle. I work with your producer. Honey, you've been asleep for a few days, so try and take it easy."
What? The word was tangled in my mouth. I couldn't spit it out.
A few days? Something inside me snapped, and I lunged against the restraints, my eyes stinging.
I'd been asleep for days. Oblivious of what they were doing to the others.
When I glanced at James, his lips formed a smirk. He looked triumphant, and my heart slithered into my gut. He cocked his head. "You look surprised."
Shaking my head, I swallowed hard. Doctor Carlisle's lips were pursed. She gently pushed me back onto the bed. "We're not quite sure what happened to you, so we'll be monitoring you for the next few hours, okay?" she laughed lightly. "You scared us quite a bit."
"Indeed." James jumped in, impatient to move things along. "When will you be discharging her?"
Doctor Carlisle straightened up. "Very soon!" she smiled brightly at the writer, before clearing her throat. "Mr Marley, would I be able to have a private word with Robin? I'd like to ask her a few questions regarding her medical records."
James shrugged. "Sure." He sent me a wink, before practically dancing away. "Get well soon, Robs!" His words were casual, but the look on his face was teasing.
He was waiting for me to break, using Rory's last words as a weapon.
Doctor Carlisle buzzed around me like a moth to a flame, and I let her prod and poke me, checking the IV sticking in my wrist. When the door slammed shut, I noticed her posture change.
The light smile on her lips curved into a frown, and something in her eyes lit up. Suddenly, her hands were on mine, gripping my fingers and squeezing tightly.
It was almost motherly, but I snatched my hand back, tugging against the velcro straps.
"I wasn't even sure if you were going to wake up." The doctor said softly, her wide blue eyes were sincere, and she slowly began to undo the restraints pinning down my wrists.
"Daniel gave you the wrong dose," she tutted, shaking her head. "My God, he nearly killed you. But don't worry, okay?" her fingers worked quickly, pulling me free. I'm going to get you out of here."
For a moment, I was speechless, before words started to pop out of my mouth. My mind snapped back to the note. The epi-pen.
"You're..." she interrupted me with a shaky laugh.
"A friend, yes." Doctor Carlisle worked quickly, pulling out the needles attached to my arms, the tubes inserted into my nose. "You'll have to forgive our mistake, Robin. The plan was to recreate a mild allergic reaction. A prototype of mine. But my partner messed up the dose."
Sitting up, I rubbed my arms, I couldn't speak. The doctor shoved something rubber into my mouth. "Bite down on this, okay?"
"Why?" I was shaking with adrenaline. I was free. Every instinct inside me was screaming at me to look for the others, but Doctor Carlisle's stare kept me glued to the bed.
"Miss Harley, I know you're scared." she said softly. "Believe me, if I was you, the last thing I would do is trust anyone in this horrific place." her hand grasped for mine once more. This time I let her take it. "I can help you," she said. "But you need to co-operate with me, okay? We haven't got much time, and your producer is an impatient man."
Nodding robotically, I let her take my arm. She shoved the rubber thing into my mouth and I bit down hard.
Doctor Carlisle smiled, but her eyes were haunted. I noticed her hands were shaking too, her gaze flicking back and forth, searching for intruders. "I need you to close your eyes and try not to scream, alright? You have to make as little noise as possible. Just hold it in, honey."
"Okay." I whispered. My eyes flickered shut, and within moments of staring into the backs of my eyelids, something sharp, something cold and cruel sliced into my arm.
I jolted, biting down harder.
Doctor Carlisle's voice was strained. "Almost there!"
I felt something metal- something sharp digging into the incision. That time I did scream. When I opened my eyes, she was panting, and a pool of red was dripping down my left arm. Doctor Carlisle was holding something up to the light, and I peered at it.
"Tracking device." Pinched between a pair of tweezers in her hand was what looked like a grain of rice.
Doctor Carlisle pulled a face. "Inhumane." she muttered, flinging it behind her.
I was pulled off the bed quickly, the doctor's arms helping me across the room. "We need to hurry, Robin." she said in a gasp of breath. But I wasn't listening to her. My body was moving on its own, and I was tearing myself out of her grip. Staggering without her support, I forced myself to stay upright, scanning the room for any sign of the others.
There was another bed at the corner of my eye. Hidden behind a white curtain, there was a body-sized lump lying on top of it, covered by light blue hospital linin.
Something inside me urged me closer. Before I knew what I was doing, I was grasping hold of the cloth and pulling it back. the first thing I saw was... white. I saw chipped pearly white and slithers of light pink. It took me a moment to realize what I was looking at, before I gagged. My whole body trembled and I gasped out, slipping to my knees. I was dry heaving, my body struggling to process what was in front of me.
I was screaming, gasping for air. But no sound was coming out.
Doctor Carlisle grabbed me, wrapping her arms around me and forcing my head into her shoulder
"Robin!"
Her voice drove me to some kind of understanding. My body worked on its own and I was swivelling around, expecting the worst. But when I properly looked, I only saw the face of Derek Marley. His eyes were skyward, staring at the ceiling. But his head had been sliced cleanly open, exposing chipped skull and brain bleeding through cracked trauma.
Derek.
Not any of the others. Not Noah, or Rory, Lana or Izzie.
What I was looking at, was what was left of James' brother.
"You need to listen to me." Doctor Carlisle's voice was firm, her grip on my arm like a vice. I let her drag me towards the exit doors. "James Marley is a sick man. His brother was another of his failed experiments. But you need to listen to me, and listen good, okay? He would never murder his top stars. His plans for you are horrific, Robin. But he would never go that far. You five are the reason why he has a career in the first place."
She was right, but that didn't stop my gaze going to the medical waste trash can near the door. Rory's khaki shirt, the one he had been wearing the day he was taken away, was poking from clear plastic. The material was dyed a vicious shade of red, and I shook my head, twisting myself away. Doctor Carlisle must have followed my gaze.
She let out a soft breath. "We need to go."
Unresponsive, I let her pull me from the room. Once we were back on the hallway, the doctor pulled out blue scrubs and a face mask. "Put these on. Quickly. Tuck your hair under this." she handed me a cloth cap.
Doing as I was told, I threw on the tight light-blue ensemble, and then the face mask over my mouth and nose. Finally, the cap. Doctor Carlisle grabbed my arm. "Don't speak," she said sternly. "Do not make a noise. Just stay silent, and let me do the talking."
Her words confused me, until we were back in the hotel lobby. The clerk was behind the desk as usual, each TV mounted to the wall still playing reruns of the show. But what was different, was the beefy looking guard standing at the door. I put my head down, glaring into the sickly yellow carpet. Doctor Carlisle approached the guard, pulling me with her.
"Rosie." The guard's voice grunted.
Doctor Carlisle- or Rosie- squeezed my arm tighter, almost as if to reassure me. "Mark." her voice was bright. "I've been told to escort Doctor Matthews home. She's got a raging temperature, and a cough. She is also quite delirious on medication I've administered."
"Oh." The guard hissed a curse under his breath. "Do you mean-"
"Yes."
"Well shit," He groaned. "Can you get her to remove her mask to confirm her identity?"
“That won’t be necessary." Doctor Carlisle managed to keep her cool, while I broke out into a cold sweat. The protocol is that we get them out of here as soon as possible to avoid an outbreak. The show is behind schedule already. We need to be careful."
The guard hummed. "Right, of course. Go."
"Do not look up," Doctor Carlisle said softly. "We're almost there, Robin."
My bare feet moved over concrete, before car doors were opening, and I was being helped into the front seat. The engine came to life, the radio sputtering a news station.
I still didn't look up, glaring between my knees. My fingers gripped at plush leather, squeezing for dear life. When the car started forwards, the knot in my gut loosened slightly. When I risked a glance up, her hand whipped out to shove my head back down.
"Not yet. I have to do something first."
Nodding, I stayed silent. To distract myself I tried to listen to the radio, but all I heard was static. And when I thought of static, all I could think of was ancient Looney Tunes cartoons turning Noah's brain inside out. When Doctor Carlisle stopped the car, and when windows on her side slid up, my chest clenched. I pressed my face into my lap.
"Idiot." Doctor Carlisle spoke up. But she wasn't speaking to me. Her voice had gone cold. Splintering ice. "How many times did I tell you to check the dose?"
A light male laugh startled me. "Relax, Rosie! It did the job, didn't it?"
Doctor Carlisle tutted. One of the doors at the back opened with a mechanical whine, and something heavy hit the seat. I didn't care look up. The door slammed shut and Doctor Carlisle's seat squeaked when she twisted to look at whatever had been thrown in.
"The debt is paid, Rose," the man grunted. "Take them and get as far away from here as possible. I know a guy who can get you through the border. No questions asked."
"Isn't the border closed?" Doctor Carlisle sounded sceptical.
"It is. But like I said, I know a guy. Give them my reference number. I'll text it you on the burner."
"Right," the doctor cleared her throat. "I think you're missing something, Dan."
The man- or Dan- cursed under his breath. "You know what they'll do to me."
"Hand it over. We had a deal." Doctor Carlisle's voice was firm.
I looked up, only to glimpse a figure outside the window. His identity was shrouded in darkness. He reached into his jacket and pulled something out, before handing it to Doctor Carlisle, who reached for it. "Is this it?" her voice broke slightly.
"Yep. Just done this afternoon." The man let out a heavy sigh. "That son of a bitch needs locking up. Poor kids."
Stop. The word burned on my tongue, and my eyes stung.
Don't feel sorry for us.
“Did you make sure to get the tracker out?”
The stranger laughed. “Do you think I’m stupid? Of course I did!”
Tracker. I struggled to keep my head down. Who was he talking about? Me?
“Thank you, Daniel. “
Doctor Carlisle paused. "You do realise you're saving these kids, right?"
The man scoffed. "Yeah, and sacrificing myself."
When we left Doctor Carlisle's partner, I still couldn't bring myself to lift my head. I waited in tense silence until we had driven at least three blocks, before I risked looking up. The sky was dark, but I felt a rush of relief that flooded through my body.
I was free.
And yet my heart still ached.
"Call me Rosie, by the way." Doctor Carlisle said casually, gripping the steering wheel.
I noticed something black and sleek stuck to her right hand. She was holding onto it for dear life. The woman sent me a glance. "It's okay, you can relax now." she gestured to the road ahead. "We've got about three hours until we reach the border, so maybe get some sleep."
But I didn't want sleep. I wanted answers.
I turned in my seat, curious, to see what had been thrown onto the backseats. But to my horror, I found myself staring at... Noah. My castmate was dressed in the light blue scrubs, and the same face mask, which had slipped from his mouth and nose.
Strands of his raven hair bled from the cap over his head, and a blindfold had been wrapped around his eyes. I lost my breath. Leaning forward, I pressed a shaking hand on his shoulder, expecting the worst. But he was breathing. Noah was breathing. His body was curled up, his legs tucked into his chest. My castmate's name was choked in my sandpaper throat.
Noah's eyes were covered, I thought. Why were his eyes covered?
"Robin, don't look back there."
Finally finding my voice, I felt brave enough to coerce actual words out. "Noah."
Rosie sighed. "Yes. That is him. But right now he's in quite a state. When you disrupted the level four programming, the procedure was stopped at fifty percent,” she reached forward and flicked the radio off, leaving us in silence.
The doctor shuffled uncomfortably in her seat, her gaze on the road.
“Since then, there has been no activity for Keaton or the program. All four of them are at a standstill, and I took the opportunity to get as many of you out as possible. “
“But-“ I choked again.
It was like she could read my mind, cutting me off.
“Daniel was supposed to get Gallagher too. Since he is hanging by a thread. But it seems he only managed Keaton."
Hanging by a thread.
Rory was hanging by a thread, but he was still alive.
He was still him.
I could only hope.
Before I could speak, she was continuing. "Luckily," Rosie waved the black object in her hand. It was a USB drive. "I know someone who is as smart as Derek, and knows the procedure. What I'm hoping for is some kind of reversal process. But I'm not counting on it. I want to focus right now on waking the kid up. Then we can start thinking about figuring out how the hell we're going to transfer living consciousness back into the brain, which is way beyond anything I've ever studied-" she let out a choked laugh.
"And I'm a goddamn neurologist." Rosie glared at the road ahead. Cars flew by, headlights blinding. "This isn't science. It's playing God."
One look at the flash drive in Rosie's hand sent prickles of ice down my spine.
I sat up straighter in my seat. "Is that...?" the words wouldn't come.
The doctor nodded grimly. "Yes. Noah Keaton's core consciousness is inside here." she pulled a face. "At least I hope so. I guess we'll know if Daniel played us."
Ignoring her, I turned in my seat and grasped for Noah's hand. It was cold. But it felt right in mine. It wasn't much, not anything, really, because Noah wasn't there anymore. But I still wanted to hold him. I still wanted to pretend that he was there.
Rosie must have seen my expression, because she sighed. “You have no idea how many people are funding Daffodil, Robin. James may be the head of the project, but a lot of people are willing to do anything to make sure there is an end result. Which is all five of you being successful subjects. I know exposing those bastards is most likely on your mind, but first we have to think logically, okay?"
Subjects. Chills ran down my spine.
I'm not even an actress anymore. I'm a test subject.
A host for a fictional character.
She was right. As much as I wanted to go back to my family, I was putting them at risk. We had to focus on Noah first, and then getting the others out. Then I would tell the world.
"Sleep." Rosie said, when I finally let go of Noah's hand. "You look exhausted." her smile was kind. "I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. Tell me if you need anything."
I didn't think I'd be able to sleep in a car, with the empty shell of my castmate slumped on the backseats. But I did. I didn't dream, though. I just floated, and it was peaceful.
The sweet aroma of coffee woke me up, and I blinked to find Rosie waving a Starbucks latte under my nose. Automatically, Noah's name was on my lips, and my chest was heaving. Ignoring the coffee being held out to me, I nearly gave myself whiplash, turning to see if Noah was still there. He was. Rosie had thrown a patterned blanket over him.
"Relax." The doctor murmured, when I faced the front and took the coffee, swallowing it down. It burned my mouth but I didn't care. "Keaton isn't going anywhere."
I asked where we were, and Rosie hummed. "We passed through the border when you were asleep. We should be there in around twenty minutes, so feel free to get more shut eye."
For the first time in weeks, I felt relaxed. I felt safe.
The second time I slipped into slumber, it was longer. Darker. This time, I dreamed.
I dreamed countless dreams, and when I woke, I was no longer in Rosie's car.
I'm sorry, I'm going to struggle writing this. It's... weird. The words have gone blurry.
Flickering light blinded me when I opened my eyes. Pristine white walls. I couldn't move my arms. I couldn't move at all. First, I was disoriented. But as my vision cleared, I realised the flickering light in front of me was a TV screen.
The room was dark, except from the screen. I glimpsed Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck through flitting static. It was the same sequence playing over and over again. Just like the one I'd seen Noah watching. It was different than when I'd first seen it. Back then, it was just a cartoon. Just scrambled images bouncing through static.
I almost understood why Noah couldn't keep his eyes off of it. There was something...there. Underneath the cracking and hissing, something was pushing its way through. And I felt it. I felt it crawling its way inside my mind.
Tearing my gaze from the television, I noticed my restraints were loose. With one tug, I was free, lunging off of the bed. My head was pounding. My stomach was rolling, and every so often, my trembling hand would graze my right eye, stabbing at sore skin.
How long had I be asleep? The question burned at the back of my mind.
More importantly, how long had I been exposed to the cartoon? Where was I?
I definitely wasn't at the hotel. The room I was in was bigger, built more like an operating theatre.
On the way to the door, I tripped over something. When I looked down to see who it was, I had to slap a hand over my mouth to stop from crying out. Rosie. The nurse who had helped me was lying in a halo of dark curls. There was a single bullet hole in the middle of her forehead. She was holding something, but part of me already knew what it was.
The flash drive with Noah's consciousness.
I didn't waste time. Stuffing the flash-drive in my jeans pocket, I searched for Noah. Rosie had taken us to somebody's house, which looked to be high-tech. It was built more like a facility. A long white hallway led me to another large room. The same dentist chair contraption was inside, and strapped to it was Noah, who was no longer an empty shell slumped across the backseat of Doctor Carlisle's car.
No. Noah was awake. His eyes were open, half lidded. He was stiff in the chair, and when I moved towards him, he shook his head rapidly, backing into the head-rest. There was a tube in his left arm, and my eyes followed it to a machine next to him. It was pumping some kind of clear fluid inside him. Seeing him alive flooded me with adrenaline.
"Noah?" I spoke with the gutter of my throat. This time there was no cartoon twisting his mind into submission.
My castmate shook his head, and I was reminded of the flash-drive in my pocket. Suddenly, it was so hard to swallow. I felt myself back away, but dug my foot into the floor.
"Will."
The boy stared back. He didn't nod, but there was a glimmer of cerulean light in his eyes. The same light I'd seen back in 309.
All I wanted to do was get out of there. Seeing my friend's body occupied with a fictional character was setting my nerve endings on fire. I had to get out.
But then... tapping. Noah, or Will, was still looking at me. His eyes were blank, but his fingers were tapping and scratching at the arm-rest under his restraints.
I knew what to do. Grabbing a roll of toilet paper, and a scalpel from a tray of silver instruments, I struggled to keep up with his fingers that were faster than Noah's. More precise. They danced across plush leather like he was playing the piano.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Tap.

/

Swipe, tap, swipe.

Swipe, tap.

Swipe, swipe, swipe

Tap, swipe, swipe

Tap, tap, tap.

/

Tap, swipe, tap.

Tap.

Tap, tap, tap, swipe.

Tap.

Tap, swipe, tap.

Tap, tap, tap.

Tap.

It looked like Noah, or Will, was going to tap out something else. His fingers hovered, and I waited for him to. But a voice sliced cleanly through the silence.
“Mr Marley, I contacted you as soon as I could.”
It was a man's voice. Grouchy. Old. My feet were glued to the spot. Behind me, the thing inside my castmate didn't move. But his eyes, swimming with blue light, had widened.
"Yes. Both of them. Keaton has been finalised. I was able to revive his mind and repeat the procedure, successfully completing stage four. He is stable as of now, and I'm monitoring him."
Somehow, my legs managed to work. I inched towards the door, holding my breath. The man was right outside. "I trust you've had problems with Gallagher? Bring the boy here, it's only a matter of simple surgery, James. It's not rocket science."
"- I don't care if he's had a head injury. Conditioning is still possible. Like I said, leave him with me, and he'll be right as rain. It's the Brit, right?"
Something was said on the other end of the line, and the man snorted. "Harley? yes, of course. Uh-huh. She's been inserted, yes. It's just a matter of waiting for the program to take hold naturally, and then of course I'll be putting her through stage four."
I knew what that meant.
I can't put exactly what I felt at that moment, into writing. It all made a sick kind of sense. My pounding head, and the foggy feeling that had began to envelope my mind.
I couldn't breathe. Suffocated. I felt suffocated.
"Yes, Marley," the man grunted. "Tomorrow. You bring the deviant, and I'll give you two spanking new characters for your shitty show."
After that, after my fate was given to me, everything went blurry. I don't remember getting caught. I don't remember him dragging me by my hair up countless flights of steps, muttering that I didn't matter. All he wanted was my body. All he wanted was my face. I was thrown into a room which reminded me of my character's bedroom. The walls were light purple, the bedspread matching. The rug was fluffy under my bare feet. There was a potted daffodil on the window-sill. I grabbed it, hurling it at the wall.
There was nobody I could cry out to. The windows were locked. When I looked outside, the sky was dark again. But I don't know how many dark skies have passed.
All I know is that I'm not getting out of here.
None of us are. Noah, Lana and Izzie are gone. Rory is close to losing himself. I don't know how far he is. I don't know if he's himself, or a shell like Noah.
I guess this is it. I don't want to stop posting, but I don't think I have a choice anymore. Katie is killing me, she's right here, bleeding into everything I am.
I'm tired.
I want my mom.
God, I just want my mom.
You understood me earlier, right? What I wrote? I meant it. You have to find the others parents. Tell them what happened to their kids. Tell them everything. Translate Noah, or his character's message to me. Maybe you can figure out what he was trying to say.
I don't know if Rosie was using a fake name, but try hers. Try everything.
Rosie Carlisle. Her name is Rosie Carlisle.
If you have to, show people this.
I'm going to try one more time.
My name is [REDACTED].
My castmate's names are: [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]
Do you hear me? MY NAME IS [REDACTED].

*
This is a message from [REDACTED] of [REDACTED] STUDIOS. Everything above, as well as the four other posts on this account are a work of fiction, a social experiment on this platform performed by our lovely Robin Harley, over a five week period in an attempt to garner attention for the return of our show at the start of 2021. We hope you enjoyed it!
**Please do not take any of this seriously. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to visit Robin’s Instagram (@RobinHarley).
Thanks for reading!
Don’t forget to catch season three of [REDACTED] starting this January, starring RORY GALLAGHER, NOAH KEATON, ROBIN HARLEY, IZZIE BRIGHT, and LANA FARADAY.
ONLY ON [REDACTED].
submitted by RobinAnonymous to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:57 the_nevermore 39+4 Birth Story, first-time mom, short labour, unmedicated waterbirth, BC Women's, midwife, very positive

Cliff notes/TLDR:
Prep/Lead Up: There are lots of things out there that supposedly help induce labour and/or improve your labour experience. I tried to prioritize things that had evidence/studies behind them - so I was willing to do something high effort, but potentially high reward (pumping for an hour each day) over something low effort, but low evidence for reward (drinking red raspberry leaf tea).
Birth story:
There were no real lead up or "signs" I was getting close to labour. Braxton Hicks had started to get more noticeable in the few days in advance, but they'd been happening consistently for weeks at that point. The only real thing that was different was in the morning on my way to work I had a backache during a Braxton Hicks and I'd never experienced that before.
Around 10:30 pm while experiencing some more of what I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions, I feel a kick/pop sensation in my lower back followed by a small gush of fluid. It takes a few more small gushes and contractions to convince me it is my water breaking and not just very watery discharge, so around 11:00 pm I get up to go to the washroom and confirm. I put on a pair of depends and then returned to bed to hopefully get some sleep before contractions picked up too much.
By 12:00 am, the contractions were about 10min apart and I was feeling like I needed to move during contractions to be comfortable, so I got up and relocated to the bathroom so I would allow my partner to continue to sleep (we live in a tiny studio apartment).
Once I relocated, they pretty quickly ramped up and I started humming/vocalizing during them. I also pooped A LOT during this stage. I found the most comfortable positions for me were sitting on the toilet with my knees wide and standing/kneeling and leaning forward while lifting my belly. I was getting loud enough that my partner woke up around 1:00 am. He started bustling around the apartment and got me water and started timing my contractions.
The instructions from the midwife were to call once I was having three contractions within 10 minutes for about an hour and my partner made the call to contact the midwife around 2:00 am. At this point, I was also starting to feel like I might not be able to make it through without an epidural and felt like I wanted to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I think my partner could tell I was starting to struggle and suggested I get in the shower which was awesome and definitely brought things down a notch. Had it on hot and then my partner also applied counter pressure to my lower back during contractions.
The midwife arrived to assess me shortly after I got in the shower. She took my blood pressure and checked the baby's heart rate while I was in the shower (which was also the first time my partner was able to hear the heartbeat due to COVID restrictions preventing him from attending in-person appointments). She asked if I wanted a cervical check which I did, so I hopped out of the shower and made my way to our bed. I was super scared I was only going to be 2 or 3cm, but it turns out I was 5cm! The midwife said it was time to head to the hospital!
She helped me get dressed while my partner grabbed the labour bag and the last few things that needed to be added (phones, chargers, etc). Then she left to meet us at the hospital and my partner ordered an Uber. As she leaves, she tells me that if I feel like pushing while we are driving over, to just breathe through it. I'm confused, thinking we've still several hours of labour ahead of us.
Uber arrives, we make our way outside and I proceed to have a fairly vocal/intense contraction before I can get in the car.
Uber Driver: She's in labour, I can't deal with that.
Partner: Yes, the ride we ordered was to BC Women's hospital. Why else would we be going to the hospital in the middle of the night???
Uber Driver: drives away
So then he calls a taxi company and I'm standing in the cold just wearing a t-shirt dress because I was considering indoolabouring-comfort, not waiting-outside-in-the-middle-of-the-night-for-a-taxi-comfort. The taxi eventually arrives (I think it was only 10-15 minutes, but felt like forever) and I somehow willed myself to be silent the entire trip so we don't end up with a repeat rejection. I do start to feel slightly pushy on the occasional contraction, so my midwife was definitely onto something.
We get to the hospital around 4:00 am and our midwife is waiting for us at the door. My partner goes off to deal with the admission paperwork and my midwife takes my vitals, checks the baby's heart rate and goes through the COVID questionnaire with me. My partner then needs to go through the COVID questionnaire and then we are ready to head to our room! I opt to walk rather than get a wheelchair because sitting during contractions sounds horrible to me.
It takes us a little while to get to the room because I need to pause for several contractions along the way, but eventually, we do and the midwife starts running the bath for me right away. I hop in the bath and feel much better. I initially started in a kneeling position but was starting to feel more consistently pushy which freaked me out as I didn't think I was that close yet. I switched to sitting/laying back in the tub as I felt less pushy in that position.
The midwife asks if she can check again and I'm at 9cm with just a lip at the front. I continued to labour for a little bit trying to avoid pushing because it still felt too early, but eventually the feeling to push was overwhelming. I panicked a bit in a few contractions as the pushing feeling got away from me, but the nurse was great and coached me to breathe through it.
Pushing felt pretty good until the baby started crowning. The nurse brought my hand down to feel his head - a full head of hair! All that heartburn at the end wasn't for nothing!
At that point, the midwife started checking around his head with her finger and performing perineal massage/stretching which was painful at times. I also worked really hard to try and hold the baby's head in place in between contractions rather than letting it slide back, but I found the pressure from his head made it challenging for me to identify contractions, so I don't think my pushing was as effective as it could have been towards the end.
About 2 hours after I started pushing and 30 minutes after he started crowning, I pushed his head out, then his shoulders and the midwife untangled the cord from around his neck (I didn't realize this at the time) and put him on my chest. The nurses (at some point two additional nurses had joined us) started vigorously rubbing him down and he took his first few breaths.
A few minutes later the nurses helped me stand, get out of the tub, and walk to the bed. We got 10 minutes or so of snuggling on the bed before the midwife asked if I felt any contractions or the need to push; I didn't feel anything, so she asked me to do a small push and she applied traction to the cord and the placenta slid right out.
I had a few superficial labial tears - apparently freezing tends to not work well for them since they are so close to the surface of the skin, so I could feel a lot of the stitches, but it honestly wasn't too bad.
We just snuggled for about 30 minutes and then they did all his measurements. More snuggles and trying to latch a bit - he was a bit too good at the breast crawl and kept overshooting and going too high. Finally got him latched on about an hour after birth.
Since it was a straightforward labour and both me and baby were doing well, we were able to be discharged just under 12 hours after birth. We ordered delivery for dinner and I was so thankful to be able to sleep in my own bed and start settling into a routine at home.
Suggestions/notes for others:
submitted by the_nevermore to BabyBumps [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:46 Complex_5380 GP/Do-All Boys Axe; Council Tool FSS Reissue, or Hults Bruk Agdor?

There seems to be a bit of info out about the previous iterations of the CT Forrest Service Spec Boys Axe that have been offered for sale, but I can’t find much about the newer Agdor (apparently the name has been used for a century , give or take). Anyone have either of these axes, or better yet, both of them, who can give a little insight to an axe newb? Which one might make a better “One-Axe”, as in, the only one I’ll likely own and use for some time?
Context (can skip if TL;DR): I grew up in the country and split my share of fuel for the wood burning stove as a kid, as well as lots of camp chore hatchet work while hunting/camping/fishing but I’ve been a city dweller or suburbanite since starting my adult life. Since I was a kid, I didn’t own my own axe. Never have. But now my kids are starting to get old enough that I want to take them on the adventures I enjoyed when I was their age. Because I’m not going to necessarily be collecting various types of axes for specific needs, a Boys Axe seems like the logical choice for anything I would ever use it for except maybe backpacking any significant distance. A hatchet might be next to fill the gap on that end, but I digress. Since it will be an occasional use tool, I don’t think I’d get the full benefits of one of the high end/high dollar makes like a Gransfors Bruks. But I do appreciate quality tools, so I’m not interested in what my big-box stores have to offer locally. I want something that will outlast me and something I can pass on to my kids when they’re older.
That all said, two similar options have jumped out at me as definite possibilities:
The Council Tool Forest Service Spec Boys Axe reissue currently in the queu for pre-order with Whiskey River: https://whiskeyrivertrading.com/products/fss-boys-axe
and
The Hults Bruks Agdor https://wisementrading.com/wood-working/hults-bruk/hults-bruk-agdor-axe/
submitted by Complex_5380 to Axecraft [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:42 RobinAnonymous I'm a cast member in your favourite TV show, and I'm becoming my character.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
-
I can't write to you anymore.
I can't express how I feel right now through writing, because numbness is something I don't know how to describe. Fear is something I've come to know well. But for me, it's just sitting here and staring into space. I used to be scared of dying, but I would take dying over the inevitable. Anything over this; allowing James and his army of white to pluck my consciousness from my body, replacing me with Katie. Sweet Katie. Perfect Katie. The girl-next-door. The modern Nancy Drew.
Katie is loud. Katie counts the clouds, and smiles at the moon. She urges me to try and escape. "The door is unlocked, Robin," she mutters into the back of my skull. Her voice is scathing, almost teasing. Nothing like I portray her. "Why don't you try the handle?"
It's hard to block her out, It's getting harder. Because as the minutes and hours pass by, I'm starting to subconsciously agree with her. Yes, I guess the moon is beautiful.
It's dark outside, and I can see it poking from an expanse of clouds. It's rained most of the night, and I've followed every drop on the window. Katie hates the rain, so I made sure to memorise and treasure each raindrop. Part of me hoped she would get tired and leave me alone. Sometimes she does, but all night, she's been there, pushing further and further inside my head, sliding into every gap and crevice, spiderwebbing into my being.
That's why I wrote to mom. Katie's parents are dead. They died when she was four, in a total cliché plot device that's well known. A car crash. Ever since then, she's lived with her aunt, and is determined to solve the mystery of why her parents died that night.
So, to sever myself from her, I thought about my mom. I had to get it out. I had to talk to my mom for the last time, and I know I can trust you to find her. Maybe don't show her everything. I wrote from my heart, which I know is dangerous. My mom can't know what's happened to me. It will break her. All I want her to do is notice. I want her to notice that the girl playing Katie Parker is no longer me.
That's all I want. Because the voice in my head is getting stronger, and I can't stop her. I've tried, believe me. Katie isn't just a phantom presence in the back of my mind anymore. She's a real thing, a tumour eating away at my brain. Memories that I hold close, they're splintering apart piece by piece, and all I can do is wait for her to leech onto every piece of me until there is nothing left. And then I began to write. I guess I got carried away. My thoughts are tangled, and everything I write looks wrong. It's almost like I'm looking through a foggy mirror. Everything I type looks like I'm writing in a different language. Is that normal? Is this my body's way of telling me it's ready for stage four?
Part of me knows where I'm headed, but I don't want to believe it. I want to stay in denial. I don't know how to tell you how scared I am right now, because there is no way to tell you through a phone screen. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but I can't stop. I can't stop writing down the same thought, over and over again. I'm scared, I'm so fucking scared, and I don't know how to put it into words.

Firstly, I want to start by thanking you, once again. To everyone who has stuck by me, continuing to read our story. I can't thank you enough. It breaks my heart knowing you actually care about me. Not just me. The others too. So I ask you this. Even if I don't post anything else, even if it becomes clear that I'm gone, I want you to keep asking questions. Keep demanding to know what is going on. Spread my story on social media, even if it sounds ridiculous. Don't give up on us. Even if we're gone, you have to expose the show. I'm going to try and do my best to tell you who we are, without saying our names.
You have to track down the others families. Rory is from a small town in England called Sheffield. His father owns a record store, and his mom is an English teacher.
Izzie is originally from Mexico. She has a mom and three sisters, and they live in Maine.
Noah's parents live in New York, as do Lana's. Noah's dad is an author, and Lana's mom is a nurse. I know it's not much, but it's all I can think of right now.
Promise me you'll find their parents, somehow.
Promise me you'll tell them. Because I can't. I want to, but I can't.
When I think I'm okay, when I think I'm myself, Katie reminds me that I'm not.
I'm going to start from my last update. I'm not sure when it was. Someone commented that my phone has been tampered with, and you're right. It's not only been charged, but the date has been set to June 3rd, 2008. The time is always 12:00. It never moves, so I'm using the passing of night and day to record how much time has passed. It's been days, but I don't know how many. I've been out of it for most of them, but I'll get to that.
The last time I updated you, an epi-pen and a note had been pushed under my door. I managed to read the comments, and it was clear to me that the only option I had was to take it. Even if I was scared. Paranoid. Terrified that it was some kind of trick. I had to take it. Because in my mind, the same thought was plaguing me. It was relentless, screeching inside the back of my head. I had killed my castmates. While they had been halfway through the stage four procedure, I'd stopped it, and bringing it to a halt had killed them. That's all I could think about. It was sending me crazy, hysterical, pacing my room. I couldn't stop looking at Rory's bed. I couldn't stop thinking about the startling claret river running from his nose and mouth, like a horror movie.
His flickering eyes that were skyward. They didn't look at me. They didn't look at anything. Anyone. They were soulless, staring into oblivion, an endless empty space.
I don't know how long I paced. The epi-pen was clutched in my fist, and I couldn't let go of it. My mind was roaring. Why me? I kept thinking. My heart ached. My lungs felt like they were on fire. Why me, and not them? Why was this person so insistent on getting me out? Was it because the others were dead? The note was scrunched up on the floor, where I'd thrown it, and the needle in my fist felt more and more prominent, stuck to my clammy palms. Time passed slowly, and I sat on my bed and waited for Rory to come back.
Sitting cross-legged like a kid, I waited for the door to open, and James to shove my disgruntled castmate into the room. He would be okay, I told myself. Maybe he might not be the Rory I knew, but he would be okay. Rory would climb into bed without saying anything as usual and curl into himself like always, burying his head of chestnut curls into lavender coloured pillows. After several minutes of silence he would start snoring, and I'd end up shoving my own pillow over my head to block out the noise.
Except...no. Rory didn't come back. I was living a fantasy where he was still alive, still living as my roommate, trapped in our own little hell that we shared together.
But I still waited, until it became clear to me he wasn't coming back. That he was downstairs, strapped down, while James Marley emptied him out. Everything that was Rory, my best friend, was gone. The bright red numbers on my bedside clock ticked by, and I stared at the door until my eyes grew heavy. Maybe I could open it with the sheer force of my own mind, was one particularly hysterical thought.
The shot was still in my hands, and I swallowed bile at the back of my throat. I'd been trapped inside the room for endless hours that bled into night and day. Sun and moon. After a while I started to think about the possibility of getting out. My mind began to weave scenarios in my head, bringing them to life in front of my half lidded eyes. Escape. It was all I wanted. I could go back to mom. I could finally wrap my arms around my mother and break apart into her chest. I would tell her everything, and she would squeeze me tighter. I'd be safe.
I'd be home.
One stray thought kept me aware, however. When I was running the point of the pen down my arm, searching for a vein, one thought stopped me from shoving the needle in.
The others. I couldn't leave them. If they were still alive, if they were still being put through James' torturous experiments, how could I leave them to suffer?
"They're dead, Robin."
Not Katie's voice. Mine. My own voice teetering on the edge of my thoughts.
Not dead, I thought, shivers slipping down my spine. My eyes burned, but I couldn't fucking cry. I couldn't cry, and I couldn't stand it. Not dead.
Worse.
I don't know what possessed me to use the epi-pen. There was a pinch, followed by a sharp sting. Though I barely noticed the point sliding in. Maybe it was the haunting memory of Rory coming back to startling awareness, the terror in his eyes when he grabbed my shoulders, violently shaking me. His voice was still there, a phantom cry.
Fuck. I remember stabbing it in again. Harder, while his voice danced around the back of my mind, bleeding into me. I felt him. I felt all of him coming to life inside of me.
"Robin?"
The slur of his English accent that rolled off of his tongue sparked something inside me.
"Robs? You're still in there, right?"
Yes. I wanted to scream. Yes, I'm here!
I didn't reply.
Rory had been awake, he'd been awake, and I had done nothing. I couldn't. I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. My castmate was begging me with his eyes to respond, but the words were caught in my throat. I could have done something. I could have given up my façade, and stand with him. It wasn't much, and the likelihood of getting away was slim.
With that thought, the memory of myself standing there, still. Numb. Just staring back at him. Something hit me, a tumultuous wave of ice water. I dug the pen in deeper, biting my lip against a cry. The needle slicing into my skin was barely noticeable. Instead, it was the memory that was killing me.
Tipping my head back, I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to focus on the peeled paint on the ceiling.
I was seeing Rory stumbling into a guard's arms, unsteady on his feet. Warm browns wide, lips twisted. He wasn't looking at me when the guard thrust a needle into the flesh of his neck. Rory was staring at Noah. His expression had been twisted, confused, terrified.
"Noah! What the hell are you doing? Snap the fuck out of it!"
But we could have ran. I could have grabbed his arm, and ran.
I could have fucking ran.
Why didn't I? Why did I just stand there? Why did I let them take him?
After hiding the empty pen, as well as the note and the bag, I crawled back into bed with my arm stinging, forcing myself not to look at the other side of the room.
I wouldn't think about Rory.
Laying back, I found myself in the foetal position, pressing my face into my covers. I don't know how long I lay there. I don't remember falling asleep, only waking. Of course I did- my body was shaking so hard that I rolled off my bed, landing on the carpet with an audible thump. At first I thought it was an earthquake, but it wasn't the room that was convulsing. It was me. I couldn't move.
My mouth was open, and I was screaming.
At first I didn't notice it. My trembling body was enough to send my thoughts into a tailspin, and I wondered if this was it. Maybe they were planning to get rid of me.
Maybe they didn't need Katie Parker. If the others were dead, they wouldn't need me, right? Killing me would make sense. The show would release some bullshit story that all five of us had gotten into a car collision, or overdosed on Class A's.
But then I realized my body was burning. There was fire in my veins, and I was screeching. I couldn't stop myself. My limbs were deadweight and I couldn't open my eyes. All I could do was burn, thrashing side to side, my head spinning itself off its axis.
The door flew open. I was aware of that. Panicked footsteps ran through, and two pairs of hands lifted me from the ground. But I was still shaking. I was still screaming.
"Robin! Dear god, what the hell is going on?!"
James.
His voice was a sharp hiss, and I sensed fear in his tone. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't stop screaming, even when I tried to swallow it down, it crept back up like vomit. I felt myself hanging from someone's embrace. My head wouldn't stay up, and the sickly stink of James' cologne drifted into my nose when he leaned in close.
"She's barely responsive." He shouted, over my screams. "Get her downstairs!"
Voices flooded my mind. They sounded like they were underwater.
"Sedate her!"
"Marley, what happened to her?"
"The stupid brat probably had an allergic reaction. Can someone please get her medical records? Now! The last thing I need is Katie Parker's body giving up on us!"
Life flickered in and out of focus. I felt myself being lifted into warm arms. I was carried, my arms hanging limp. I stopped screaming when something cold sliced into my wrist. The fire was put out, and instead there was warmth which filled my body. I felt multiple hands on me, prodding and poking, needles and tubes being stuck into me.
I stopped shaking, and found sleep. Finally, sleep. The type of slumber I'd missed.
Life came back to me in the form of a hard slap across the face.
"Miss Harley." James' voice. As usual, it was cruel and grating.
"Open your eyes for me, sweetheart. There's a good girl."
There was impatience in his tone, and my body was already responding to his voice. My eyes flickered open. I was greeted to bright white light glaring down at me. There was something protruding inside my nose. Something plastic. Something I wanted to rip away.
When I tried to, I found my wrists restrained to the bed I was lying on.
Panic settled in, but whatever words I was trying to coerce on my tongue were interrupted by James' chuckle. "Ahh, finally."
I swivelled my eyes to him. He was standing over me. Arms folded. Smiling. There was a twist in his lips. "Dear God, Robin, we nearly lost you."
No, I thought, curling my lip. They had nearly lost Katie.
I didn't say that. His expression told me to stay quiet. Obedient. So I did. Forcing my gaze away from his twinkling eyes, I automatically began searching for my castmates. But the room was different. It wasn't 309, and there was no sign of any of them.
"Miss Harley?" A voice that sounded like wind-chimes made me jump, and a young nurse appeared next to James. She looked around my age, maybe older. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, mocha skin glistening under sickly yellow lights. Her smile was kind, but I ignored it.
The woman leaned forward, and I tried to move back, but was obstructed by the mountain of pillows cushioning my head. "Robin, my name is Doctor Carlisle. I work with your producer. Honey, you've been asleep for a few days, so try and take it easy."
What? The word was tangled in my mouth. I couldn't spit it out.
A few days? Something inside me snapped, and I lunged against the restraints, my eyes stinging.
I'd been asleep for days. Oblivious of what they were doing to the others.
When I glanced at James, his lips formed a smirk. He looked triumphant, and my heart slithered into my gut. He cocked his head. "You look surprised."
Shaking my head, I swallowed hard. Doctor Carlisle's lips were pursed. She gently pushed me back onto the bed. "We're not quite sure what happened to you, so we'll be monitoring you for the next few hours, okay?" she laughed lightly. "You scared us quite a bit."
"Indeed." James jumped in, impatient to move things along. "When will you be discharging her?"
Doctor Carlisle straightened up. "Very soon!" she smiled brightly at the writer, before clearing her throat. "Mr Marley, would I be able to have a private word with Robin? I'd like to ask her a few questions regarding her medical records."
James shrugged. "Sure." He sent me a wink, before practically dancing away. "Get well soon, Robs!" His words were casual, but the look on his face was teasing.
He was waiting for me to break, using Rory's last words as a weapon.
Doctor Carlisle buzzed around me like a moth to a flame, and I let her prod and poke me, checking the IV sticking in my wrist. When the door slammed shut, I noticed her posture change.
The light smile on her lips curved into a frown, and something in her eyes lit up. Suddenly, her hands were on mine, gripping my fingers and squeezing tightly.
It was almost motherly, but I snatched my hand back, tugging against the velcro straps.
"I wasn't even sure if you were going to wake up." The doctor said softly, her wide blue eyes were sincere, and she slowly began to undo the restraints pinning down my wrists.
"Daniel gave you the wrong dose," she tutted, shaking her head. "My God, he nearly killed you. But don't worry, okay?" her fingers worked quickly, pulling me free. I'm going to get you out of here."
For a moment, I was speechless, before words started to pop out of my mouth. My mind snapped back to the note. The epi-pen.
"You're..." she interrupted me with a shaky laugh.
"A friend, yes." Doctor Carlisle worked quickly, pulling out the needles attached to my arms, the tubes inserted into my nose. "You'll have to forgive our mistake, Robin. The plan was to recreate a mild allergic reaction. A prototype of mine. But my partner messed up the dose."
Sitting up, I rubbed my arms, I couldn't speak. The doctor shoved something rubber into my mouth. "Bite down on this, okay?"
"Why?" I was shaking with adrenaline. I was free. Every instinct inside me was screaming at me to look for the others, but Doctor Carlisle's stare kept me glued to the bed.
"Miss Harley, I know you're scared." she said softly. "Believe me, if I was you, the last thing I would do is trust anyone in this horrific place." her hand grasped for mine once more. This time I let her take it. "I can help you," she said. "But you need to co-operate with me, okay? We haven't got much time, and your producer is an impatient man."
Nodding robotically, I let her take my arm. She shoved the rubber thing into my mouth and I bit down hard.
Doctor Carlisle smiled, but her eyes were haunted. I noticed her hands were shaking too, her gaze flicking back and forth, searching for intruders. "I need you to close your eyes and try not to scream, alright? You have to make as little noise as possible. Just hold it in, honey."
"Okay." I whispered. My eyes flickered shut, and within moments of staring into the backs of my eyelids, something sharp, something cold and cruel sliced into my arm.
I jolted, biting down harder.
Doctor Carlisle's voice was strained. "Almost there!"
I felt something metal- something sharp digging into the incision. That time I did scream. When I opened my eyes, she was panting, and a pool of red was dripping down my left arm. Doctor Carlisle was holding something up to the light, and I peered at it.
"Tracking device." Pinched between a pair of tweezers in her hand was what looked like a grain of rice.
Doctor Carlisle pulled a face. "Inhumane." she muttered, flinging it behind her.
I was pulled off the bed quickly, the doctor's arms helping me across the room. "We need to hurry, Robin." she said in a gasp of breath. But I wasn't listening to her. My body was moving on its own, and I was tearing myself out of her grip. Staggering without her support, I forced myself to stay upright, scanning the room for any sign of the others.
There was another bed at the corner of my eye. Hidden behind a white curtain, there was a body-sized lump lying on top of it, covered by light blue hospital linin.
Something inside me urged me closer. Before I knew what I was doing, I was grasping hold of the cloth and pulling it back. the first thing I saw was... white. I saw chipped pearly white and slithers of light pink. It took me a moment to realize what I was looking at, before I gagged. My whole body trembled and I gasped out, slipping to my knees. I was dry heaving, my body struggling to process what was in front of me.
I was screaming, gasping for air. But no sound was coming out.
Doctor Carlisle grabbed me, wrapping her arms around me and forcing my head into her shoulder
"Robin!"
Her voice drove me to some kind of understanding. My body worked on its own and I was swivelling around, expecting the worst. But when I properly looked, I only saw the face of Derek Marley. His eyes were skyward, staring at the ceiling. But his head had been sliced cleanly open, exposing chipped skull and brain bleeding through cracked trauma.
Derek.
Not any of the others. Not Noah, or Rory, Lana or Izzie.
What I was looking at, was what was left of James' brother.
"You need to listen to me." Doctor Carlisle's voice was firm, her grip on my arm like a vice. I let her drag me towards the exit doors. "James Marley is a sick man. His brother was another of his failed experiments. But you need to listen to me, and listen good, okay? He would never murder his top stars. His plans for you are horrific, Robin. But he would never go that far. You five are the reason why he has a career in the first place."
She was right, but that didn't stop my gaze going to the medical waste trash can near the door. Rory's khaki shirt, the one he had been wearing the day he was taken away, was poking from clear plastic. The material was dyed a vicious shade of red, and I shook my head, twisting myself away. Doctor Carlisle must have followed my gaze.
She let out a soft breath. "We need to go."
Unresponsive, I let her pull me from the room. Once we were back on the hallway, the doctor pulled out blue scrubs and a face mask. "Put these on. Quickly. Tuck your hair under this." she handed me a cloth cap.
Doing as I was told, I threw on the tight light-blue ensemble, and then the face mask over my mouth and nose. Finally, the cap. Doctor Carlisle grabbed my arm. "Don't speak," she said sternly. "Do not make a noise. Just stay silent, and let me do the talking."
Her words confused me, until we were back in the hotel lobby. The clerk was behind the desk as usual, each TV mounted to the wall still playing reruns of the show. But what was different, was the beefy looking guard standing at the door. I put my head down, glaring into the sickly yellow carpet. Doctor Carlisle approached the guard, pulling me with her.
"Rosie." The guard's voice grunted.
Doctor Carlisle- or Rosie- squeezed my arm tighter, almost as if to reassure me. "Mark." her voice was bright. "I've been told to escort Doctor Matthews home. She's got a raging temperature, and a cough. She is also quite delirious on medication I've administered."
"Oh." The guard hissed a curse under his breath. "Do you mean-"
"Yes."
"Well shit," He groaned. "Can you get her to remove her mask to confirm her identity?"
“That won’t be necessary." Doctor Carlisle managed to keep her cool, while I broke out into a cold sweat. The protocol is that we get them out of here as soon as possible to avoid an outbreak. The show is behind schedule already. We need to be careful."
The guard hummed. "Right, of course. Go."
"Do not look up," Doctor Carlisle said softly. "We're almost there, Robin."
My bare feet moved over concrete, before car doors were opening, and I was being helped into the front seat. The engine came to life, the radio sputtering a news station.
I still didn't look up, glaring between my knees. My fingers gripped at plush leather, squeezing for dear life. When the car started forwards, the knot in my gut loosened slightly. When I risked a glance up, her hand whipped out to shove my head back down.
"Not yet. I have to do something first."
Nodding, I stayed silent. To distract myself I tried to listen to the radio, but all I heard was static. And when I thought of static, all I could think of was ancient Looney Tunes cartoons turning Noah's brain inside out. When Doctor Carlisle stopped the car, and when windows on her side slid up, my chest clenched. I pressed my face into my lap.
"Idiot." Doctor Carlisle spoke up. But she wasn't speaking to me. Her voice had gone cold. Splintering ice. "How many times did I tell you to check the dose?"
A light male laugh startled me. "Relax, Rosie! It did the job, didn't it?"
Doctor Carlisle tutted. One of the doors at the back opened with a mechanical whine, and something heavy hit the seat. I didn't care look up. The door slammed shut and Doctor Carlisle's seat squeaked when she twisted to look at whatever had been thrown in.
"The debt is paid, Rose," the man grunted. "Take them and get as far away from here as possible. I know a guy who can get you through the border. No questions asked."
"Isn't the border closed?" Doctor Carlisle sounded sceptical.
"It is. But like I said, I know a guy. Give them my reference number. I'll text it you on the burner."
"Right," the doctor cleared her throat. "I think you're missing something, Dan."
The man- or Dan- cursed under his breath. "You know what they'll do to me."
"Hand it over. We had a deal." Doctor Carlisle's voice was firm.
I looked up, only to glimpse a figure outside the window. His identity was shrouded in darkness. He reached into his jacket and pulled something out, before handing it to Doctor Carlisle, who reached for it. "Is this it?" her voice broke slightly.
"Yep. Just done this afternoon." The man let out a heavy sigh. "That son of a bitch needs locking up. Poor kids."
Stop. The word burned on my tongue, and my eyes stung.
Don't feel sorry for us.
“Did you make sure to get the tracker out?”
The stranger laughed. “Do you think I’m stupid? Of course I did!”
Tracker. I struggled to keep my head down. Who was he talking about? Me?
“Thank you, Daniel. “
Doctor Carlisle paused. "You do realise you're saving these kids, right?"
The man scoffed. "Yeah, and sacrificing myself."
When we left Doctor Carlisle's partner, I still couldn't bring myself to lift my head. I waited in tense silence until we had driven at least three blocks, before I risked looking up. The sky was dark, but I felt a rush of relief that flooded through my body.
I was free.
And yet my heart still ached.
"Call me Rosie, by the way." Doctor Carlisle said casually, gripping the steering wheel.
I noticed something black and sleek stuck to her right hand. She was holding onto it for dear life. The woman sent me a glance. "It's okay, you can relax now." she gestured to the road ahead. "We've got about three hours until we reach the border, so maybe get some sleep."
But I didn't want sleep. I wanted answers.
I turned in my seat, curious, to see what had been thrown onto the backseats. But to my horror, I found myself staring at... Noah. My castmate was dressed in the light blue scrubs, and the same face mask, which had slipped from his mouth and nose.
Strands of his raven hair bled from the cap over his head, and a blindfold had been wrapped around his eyes. I lost my breath. Leaning forward, I pressed a shaking hand on his shoulder, expecting the worst. But he was breathing. Noah was breathing. His body was curled up, his legs tucked into his chest. My castmate's name was choked in my sandpaper throat.
Noah's eyes were covered, I thought. Why were his eyes covered?
"Robin, don't look back there."
Finally finding my voice, I felt brave enough to coerce actual words out. "Noah."
Rosie sighed. "Yes. That is him. But right now he's in quite a state. When you disrupted the level four programming, the procedure was stopped at fifty percent,” she reached forward and flicked the radio off, leaving us in silence.
The doctor shuffled uncomfortably in her seat, her gaze on the road.
“Since then, there has been no activity for Keaton or the program. All four of them are at a standstill, and I took the opportunity to get as many of you out as possible. “
“But-“ I choked again.
It was like she could read my mind, cutting me off.
“Daniel was supposed to get Gallagher too. Since he is hanging by a thread. But it seems he only managed Keaton."
Hanging by a thread.
Rory was hanging by a thread, but he was still alive.
He was still him.
I could only hope.
Before I could speak, she was continuing. "Luckily," Rosie waved the black object in her hand. It was a USB drive. "I know someone who is as smart as Derek, and knows the procedure. What I'm hoping for is some kind of reversal process. But I'm not counting on it. I want to focus right now on waking the kid up. Then we can start thinking about figuring out how the hell we're going to transfer living consciousness back into the brain, which is way beyond anything I've ever studied-" she let out a choked laugh.
"And I'm a goddamn neurologist." Rosie glared at the road ahead. Cars flew by, headlights blinding. "This isn't science. It's playing God."
One look at the flash drive in Rosie's hand sent prickles of ice down my spine.
I sat up straighter in my seat. "Is that...?" the words wouldn't come.
The doctor nodded grimly. "Yes. Noah Keaton's core consciousness is inside here." she pulled a face. "At least I hope so. I guess we'll know if Daniel played us."
Ignoring her, I turned in my seat and grasped for Noah's hand. It was cold. But it felt right in mine. It wasn't much, not anything, really, because Noah wasn't there anymore. But I still wanted to hold him. I still wanted to pretend that he was there.
Rosie must have seen my expression, because she sighed. “You have no idea how many people are funding Daffodil, Robin. James may be the head of the project, but a lot of people are willing to do anything to make sure there is an end result. Which is all five of you being successful subjects. I know exposing those bastards is most likely on your mind, but first we have to think logically, okay?"
Subjects. Chills ran down my spine.
I'm not even an actress anymore. I'm a test subject.
A host for a fictional character.
She was right. As much as I wanted to go back to my family, I was putting them at risk. We had to focus on Noah first, and then getting the others out. Then I would tell the world.
"Sleep." Rosie said, when I finally let go of Noah's hand. "You look exhausted." her smile was kind. "I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. Tell me if you need anything."
I didn't think I'd be able to sleep in a car, with the empty shell of my castmate slumped on the backseats. But I did. I didn't dream, though. I just floated, and it was peaceful.
The sweet aroma of coffee woke me up, and I blinked to find Rosie waving a Starbucks latte under my nose. Automatically, Noah's name was on my lips, and my chest was heaving. Ignoring the coffee being held out to me, I nearly gave myself whiplash, turning to see if Noah was still there. He was. Rosie had thrown a patterned blanket over him.
"Relax." The doctor murmured, when I faced the front and took the coffee, swallowing it down. It burned my mouth but I didn't care. "Keaton isn't going anywhere."
I asked where we were, and Rosie hummed. "We passed through the border when you were asleep. We should be there in around twenty minutes, so feel free to get more shut eye."
For the first time in weeks, I felt relaxed. I felt safe.
The second time I slipped into slumber, it was longer. Darker. This time, I dreamed.
I dreamed countless dreams, and when I woke, I was no longer in Rosie's car.
I'm sorry, I'm going to struggle writing this. It's... weird. The words have gone blurry.
Flickering light blinded me when I opened my eyes. Pristine white walls. I couldn't move my arms. I couldn't move at all. First, I was disoriented. But as my vision cleared, I realised the flickering light in front of me was a TV screen.
The room was dark, except from the screen. I glimpsed Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck through flitting static. It was the same sequence playing over and over again. Just like the one I'd seen Noah watching. It was different than when I'd first seen it. Back then, it was just a cartoon. Just scrambled images bouncing through static.
I almost understood why Noah couldn't keep his eyes off of it. There was something...there. Underneath the cracking and hissing, something was pushing its way through. And I felt it. I felt it crawling its way inside my mind.
Tearing my gaze from the television, I noticed my restraints were loose. With one tug, I was free, lunging off of the bed. My head was pounding. My stomach was rolling, and every so often, my trembling hand would graze my right eye, stabbing at sore skin.
How long had I be asleep? The question burned at the back of my mind.
More importantly, how long had I been exposed to the cartoon? Where was I?
I definitely wasn't at the hotel. The room I was in was bigger, built more like an operating theatre.
On the way to the door, I tripped over something. When I looked down to see who it was, I had to slap a hand over my mouth to stop from crying out. Rosie. The nurse who had helped me was lying in a halo of dark curls. There was a single bullet hole in the middle of her forehead. She was holding something, but part of me already knew what it was.
The flash drive with Noah's consciousness.
I didn't waste time. Stuffing the flash-drive in my jeans pocket, I searched for Noah. Rosie had taken us to somebody's house, which looked to be high-tech. It was built more like a facility. A long white hallway led me to another large room. The same dentist chair contraption was inside, and strapped to it was Noah, who was no longer an empty shell slumped across the backseat of Doctor Carlisle's car.
No. Noah was awake. His eyes were open, half lidded. He was stiff in the chair, and when I moved towards him, he shook his head rapidly, backing into the head-rest. There was a tube in his left arm, and my eyes followed it to a machine next to him. It was pumping some kind of clear fluid inside him. Seeing him alive flooded me with adrenaline.
"Noah?" I spoke with the gutter of my throat. This time there was no cartoon twisting his mind into submission.
My castmate shook his head, and I was reminded of the flash-drive in my pocket. Suddenly, it was so hard to swallow. I felt myself back away, but dug my foot into the floor.
"Will."
The boy stared back. He didn't nod, but there was a glimmer of cerulean light in his eyes. The same light I'd seen back in 309.
All I wanted to do was get out of there. Seeing my friend's body occupied with a fictional character was setting my nerve endings on fire. I had to get out.
But then... tapping. Noah, or Will, was still looking at me. His eyes were blank, but his fingers were tapping and scratching at the arm-rest under his restraints.
I knew what to do. Grabbing a roll of toilet paper, and a scalpel from a tray of silver instruments, I struggled to keep up with his fingers that were faster than Noah's. More precise. They danced across plush leather like he was playing the piano.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Tap.

/

Swipe, tap, swipe.

Swipe, tap.

Swipe, swipe, swipe

Tap, swipe, swipe

Tap, tap, tap.

/

Tap, swipe, tap.

Tap.

Tap, tap, tap, swipe.

Tap.

Tap, swipe, tap.

Tap, tap, tap.

Tap.

It looked like Noah, or Will, was going to tap out something else. His fingers hovered, and I waited for him to. But a voice sliced cleanly through the silence.
“Mr Marley, I contacted you as soon as I could.”
It was a man's voice. Grouchy. Old. My feet were glued to the spot. Behind me, the thing inside my castmate didn't move. But his eyes, swimming with blue light, had widened.
"Yes. Both of them. Keaton has been finalised. I was able to revive his mind and repeat the procedure, successfully completing stage four. He is stable as of now, and I'm monitoring him."
Somehow, my legs managed to work. I inched towards the door, holding my breath. The man was right outside. "I trust you've had problems with Gallagher? Bring the boy here, it's only a matter of simple surgery, James. It's not rocket science."
"- I don't care if he's had a head injury. Conditioning is still possible. Like I said, leave him with me, and he'll be right as rain. It's the Brit, right?"
Something was said on the other end of the line, and the man snorted. "Harley? yes, of course. Uh-huh. She's been inserted, yes. It's just a matter of waiting for the program to take hold naturally, and then of course I'll be putting her through stage four."
I knew what that meant.
I can't put exactly what I felt at that moment, into writing. It all made a sick kind of sense. My pounding head, and the foggy feeling that had began to envelope my mind.
I couldn't breathe. Suffocated. I felt suffocated.
"Yes, Marley," the man grunted. "Tomorrow. You bring the deviant, and I'll give you two spanking new characters for your shitty show."
After that, after my fate was given to me, everything went blurry. I don't remember getting caught. I don't remember him dragging me by my hair up countless flights of steps, muttering that I didn't matter. All he wanted was my body. All he wanted was my face. I was thrown into a room which reminded me of my character's bedroom. The walls were light purple, the bedspread matching. The rug was fluffy under my bare feet. There was a potted daffodil on the window-sill. I grabbed it, hurling it at the wall.
There was nobody I could cry out to. The windows were locked. When I looked outside, the sky was dark again. But I don't know how many dark skies have passed.
All I know is that I'm not getting out of here.
None of us are. Noah, Lana and Izzie are gone. Rory is close to losing himself. I don't know how far he is. I don't know if he's himself, or a shell like Noah.
I guess this is it. I don't want to stop posting, but I don't think I have a choice anymore. Katie is killing me, she's right here, bleeding into everything I am.
I'm tired.
I want my mom.
God, I just want my mom.
You understood me earlier, right? What I wrote? I meant it. You have to find the others parents. Tell them what happened to their kids. Tell them everything. Translate Noah, or his character's message to me. Maybe you can figure out what he was trying to say.
I don't know if Rosie was using a fake name, but try hers. Try everything.
Rosie Carlisle. Her name is Rosie Carlisle.
If you have to, show people this.
I'm going to try one more time.
My name is [REDACTED].
My castmate's names are: [REDACTED], [REDACTED], [REDACTED], and [REDACTED]
Do you hear me? MY NAME IS [REDACTED].

*
This is a message from [REDACTED] of [REDACTED] STUDIOS. Everything above, as well as the four other posts on this account are a work of fiction, a social experiment on this platform performed by our lovely Robin Harley, over a five week period in an attempt to garner attention for the return of our show at the start of 2021. We hope you enjoyed it!
Please do not take any of this seriously. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to visit Robin’s Instagram (@RobinHarley) where you can find the details of the promotion on there.
Thanks for reading!
Don’t forget to catch season three of [REDACTED] starting this January, starring RORY GALLAGHER, NOAH KEATON, ROBIN HARLEY, IZZIE BRIGHT, and LANA FARADAY.
ONLY ON [REDACTED].
submitted by RobinAnonymous to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:39 IWTDIRL Obama should be locked up

Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. Like that's ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek Beware Stay out I think he's in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Yeah. He'll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They'll chew your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast. Back, back beast, back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted. Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25 pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small. You wouldn't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance. Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy. Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don't let them do it! Next. What do you got? Well, I've got a talking donkey! Right. Well that's good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh, go ahead fella. Well? He's just a li..., just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. You boneheaded donkey! That's it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I love to talk. I've talked to... Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He can fly! He can talk! -That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen house fly, maybe even a superfly. But I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Seize him! Get him! This way! Hurry! You there. Ogre. -I. By the order of lord Farquaad. I am authorized to place you both under arrest. And transport you to designated resettlement facility. Oh really? You and what army? Can I say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. Are you talking to... ...me? Yes, I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you were really great back there with those guards. They thought that was all over there. And then you showed up and BAM. There was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. Oh, that's great. Really. Man, it's good to be free. Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? But I... I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there by myself. Hey wait a minute. I have a great idea... I'll stick with you. You and me in green fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. Oh, a, that was really scary. Maybe you don't mine me saying. If that don't work, your breath will certainly do the job done, 'cause... you definitively need some tic-tac or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Man you've ??? my note! Just like the time... ...and then I ate some rotten berries. Man I had some strong gases leaking out of my but that day. Why are you following me? I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone, there is no one here, beside me. My problems have all gone. There's no one to derive me. But you got to have free ... -Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder, you don't have any friends. Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. Listen! Little donkey. Take a look at me! What am I? A... ...really tall? No! I'm an Ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchforks. Doesn't that bother you? Nope. Really? -Really really. Oh? Man, I like you. What's your name? A..., Shrek. Shrek?! But do you know, what I like about you, Shrek? You've got that kind of: "I don't care what nobody thinks of me" thing. I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You're all right. Uh, look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like that? That would be my home. Oh, it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know you're quite a decorator. It's amazing what you did with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess, you don't entertain much, do you? I like my privacy. You know I do to. That's another thing, we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You try to give them a hint and they won't leave. And then there's that big occurred silence, you know? Can I stay with you? -What? Can I stay with you, please. Of course! -Really? No. -Please! I don't want to go back there. You don't how is like to be concerned like a freak. Well..., maybe you do. But that's why we have to stick together! You got to let me stay! Please! Please! OK, OK. -But one night only. -Huh, thank you! A, what are you do... No! This is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swap the manly stories. And in the morning... I'm making waffles. Where do I sleep? Outside! Oh, a, I guess that's cool. You know, I don't know you and you don't know me... ... so I guess, outside is best for me. Here I go. Good night. I do like that half door. I'm a donkey all alone outside. Sit by myself outside, I guess. I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me. -I thought, I told you to stay outside. -I am outside. Well James. This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? It's not... What a lovely bed. -Got you! I found some cheese. Awful stuff. -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? Enough! What are you doing in my house? Oh, no, no, no... Death prods off the table! Where would we supposed to put her. The bed's taken. What? I live in a swamp. I've put up signs. I'm a terrifying Ogre! What do I have to do, to get a little privacy? Oh, no! No, no! What are you doing in my swamp? All right, get out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let's go. And hurry up, hurry up. No, no, not there. Not there! Hey don't look at me. I didn't invite them. Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? We were forced to come here. -By who? Lord Farquaad. He ??? All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Oh I do. I know where he is. Does anyone else know where to find him? -Anyone at all? -Me. -Anyone? Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. Ok, fine. Attention all fairy tale things! Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. In fact. I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get all off my land and back where you came from. You. You're coming with me. All right. That's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city adventure. I love it. I'm on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I'm on road again... What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Well, can I hummer? -All right. That's enough. He's ready to talk. Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man. You monster. I'm not a monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. -Now tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me. I've tried to be fair to you, creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! -Tell me! Or I'll... -No, no, not the buttons. Not gumdrop buttons. All right! Who's hiding them? Ok, I'll tell you. -Do you know the muffin-man? -The muffin-man? -The muffin-man. -Yes, I know the muffin-man. Who lives on Proully lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin-man. -The muffin-man! -The muffin-man! -She's married to the muffin-man. My lord! We found it. Well then, what are you waiting for? Bring it in. Magic mirror. Don't tell him anything! Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically, you're not a king. A..., felonious. -You were saying. -What I mean is a... ...you're not a king, yet. But you can become one. All you have to do, is marry a princess. Go on. So, just sit back and relax my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are. Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shading from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hottubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for two evil sisters. Please welcome... Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a kemp wearing girl from a land of fantasy. Although she lives with seven other man, she is not easy. Just kiss hers dead frozen lips and find out what a live wife she is. Come on. Give it up for... Show-white. And last but certainly not least. Bachelorette number three is a fire-breathing ????, dragon guarded castle, surrounded by a hot boiling lava. But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes Pina Coladas and getting cut in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona. So will it be, bachelorette number one? Bachelorette number two? Or bachelorette number three? -Two... -Three! -Two! One. (trimmed due to comment size limit)
submitted by IWTDIRL to trump [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:38 uhhghg I passed for the first time!!!!!

i have no one to share this with since im closeted so I decided to post about it here but, i fucking passed aAAAHHAHA!!
so here’s the gist, im a closeted pre everything trans guy with a transphobic mother who is very limiting with what kinds of clothes i can wear
and today we decided to go to the mall to buy some stuff since she had a bunch of coupons, and one of the stores we went to was a store aimed for older women, my mom really likes that store so ofc we went in and i didn’t really think much of it
i kind of just waited around, not really saying anything and I noticed that when the employee lady went up to us, she only acknowledged my mother instead of saying the usual “can i help you ladies?” it surprised me, but again I didn’t really think much of it
so my mom picks out her clothes and goes to buy them, meanwhile this whole time the employee lady has not said a word to me
and then once she hands us the bag of clothes my mom had just bought she turns to me and says “is this handsome young man gonna carry the bag for you? haha, you’re so quiet!” i didn’t say anything cuz I didn’t wanna out myself with my voice but, i had the largest fucking smile on my face
i thank god that i had a mask on because i would’ve died if my mother saw how happy i was
also, im pretty sure the other employee lady that was there thought i was male too cuz she reacted similarly so, to the two ladies working there thought i just looked like a young boy who was being forced to shop in a women’s store with his mother
and because of what she had said, it’s lead me to think that maybe the other people who saw me also thought i was male, and honestly the thought of that being true makes me so fucking giddy
of course my mother was not happy about it at all but, im really glad she didn’t say anything until after we had left the store where she had begun saying how stupid that lady was for thinking i was a boy
but, yeah! that’s all! it’s definitely something I’ll never forget :-)
submitted by uhhghg to ftm [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:15 KTL_Vizzy Overtuned FGO Buffs Day 4: Georgios

So work has completely ruined my creative motivation, both for college work and for these little fun reddit thingies. But I'm back and hopefully my creative motivation sticks with me. As always read the first post (Gilgamesh) for the rules.
Today I created some buffs for my boy George, but not the kind you would expect. Not an increase to his NP gain, nor a tank build like my Leonidas build I created last time. See, I wanted to make a contrast to the Tanky leonidas build, and actually make a sort of self destruct button that supports his team like the true martyr he is. That way his buffs could be useful both with a level 65 george or a level 1 george, just like how most people use him. Without further ado since I still suck at intros:
Martyr's Support Set
Skill 1 Buff: Guardian Knight A+ --> Guardian Until the End A+
Grants Target Focus for 3 turns. Increases own defense for 3 turns. Grants a status that activates when the user is defeated: "Grants party np charge by 20% and clears party debuffs." User loses 1000 hp (demerit)
This skill is meant to either be used in tandem with his Bond 10 CE or Battle of Camlann or that one Jeanne CE i can never remember the name of. I took inspiration from Avicebron's S3 when creating this, but I realized that everyone has that problem of using a level 1 george and him not dying first turn every once and a while. So the 1000 hp demerit (which can not kill George) is there just to ensure George can die.
Skill 2 Buff: Martyr's Soul B+ --> Lydda's Martyr
Granta user debuff immunity for 3 turns. Recovers own HP. Grants the user a status buff that triggers upon being defeated: "Recovers party's hp by 3000 and grants party debuff immunity for 3 turns." If the user has Guts active when this skill is activated, remove the user's guts (Demerit).
This skill is meant to be a buff to the Martyr's Soul skill since Mental debuff isn't really a powerful niche to have resistance to. Buffing it to complete debuff immunity makes the skill more viable on its own along with the heal. The way this skill is ideally used is right AFTER your guts has been procced, to then either give yourself some more survivability through the heal, or to sack your George for the nice buffs. It can also be used on a turn where your george takes enough damage to need a heal, but not enough to warrant using your BC.
Skill 3 Buff: Battle Continuation A --> Bayard's Protection
Grants user Guts status for 5 turns. Grants user 1 hit of invincibility (permanent).
This isn't exactly along the same niche of the "you die and your effects activate" like the other 2 skills, but I definitely think Bayard should be incorporated into George's set somehow, and that is the way I want to.
NP Upgrade: Ascalon Rank B --> Rank B+
Grants the enemy Dragon Trait for 3 turns (Activates First). Grants Party Special Attack (Dragon) for 3 turns (activates after damage).
This buff is kinda obvious. I don't like having Siegfried, Sieg, and Sigurd be the only viable partners for George if you want to use him as anything other than a tank or a taunt bait. This will give him more options and can make for some nasty combos with other characters like for example Rama against a Demonic enemy. Both demon and dragon special attack? Sign me up.
This set was a little all over the place but the niche is obviously to let George die on purpose after he can no longer effectively tank the enemy hits. He can be used both at level 1 and 65 still even after these buffs, and it just strengthens his already potent use in the game. As always give me an idea for who to create a busted yet niche set for next because I don't actually have any idea as to who next. Maybe... Nero? Idk.
submitted by KTL_Vizzy to grandorder [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:13 davidcat4 Other suggestions that could be implemented for the dot crosshairs and more quality life changes

Just having the dot alone on screen has made my aim much better in terms of muscle memory. And I feel like it definitely helps when the outer dots of cross hairs are interfering. It also helps angled grip play style. However they are drawbacks that I have notice that may put others from using dot only version.
Here are some disadvantages I have noticed:
  1. Can't tell how big the spread of your shot gun is. This isn't such a big deal to vet players as they aiming for center mass since no head shot multiplier. However new players may struggle with identifying their positioning structure. How to fix this: Let us choose what type of guns we want to have outer crosshair or not e.g. shotguns, smg, yada yada.
  2. Nades don't flicker showing is detonation. This isn't such a huge deal to vets as they know the count down is around 5-6 sec and they know the timing when to release near below floors for sneaky kills. But newer players trynna cook nades would prob blowing themselves up. How to fix this: Make dot flicker.
  3. Maverick mains oh boy. This is huge. Did you know with outer crosshairs on you can tell if you are close enough to the wall to torch? When outer crosshairs show up on screen you are close enough to torch the wall. And many players cannot tell if they are close enough to the wall. In theory you want to be as far as possible so the defenders don't get an angled on you especially when you are solo cutting and nobody to watch the holes u make. Some of you may ask so what if I don't know the distance? You could be wasting precious fuel trynna distance yourself to the wall or hatch. How to fix this? Make dot highlight itself when close enough to wall or hatch.
  4. dot is always white no other customizable colors or any other way to change its opacity. Should be an easy fix. My eyes in general identify faster with color green or yellow. But I totally gotten used to white dot in middle. But still the option would be nice.
  5. Some of my friends are color blind with ironsights that are green. Let us choose what color of ironsight we want. Only reason my colour blind friend (Hibana main) uses the machine pistol (awful recoil) is cos he can't see using the iron sight pistol. An alternative fix would be a option to put middle dot on ironsights....I know hear me out...some guns the bullet hits lower than where the sight actually is and sometimes it seem it is right on the tip.
  6. Why no more other colours? Like pink? seriously pink reticle would be my OG colour for me as it has the nice mix of red and white.
  7. There probably more quality life changes. I think the ones most in demand right now is adding all 1x scopes. Don't know why ubi think 1x scopes is more op than others when some op have 1.5x as the alternative.
submitted by davidcat4 to Rainbow6 [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:09 KidsInMyBasement666 When I Was 13 I Drew A Swastika On Myself

When I was 13 or 14, I'm 99% sure 13, I was at my friend's house. I'm an artist and love drawing random portraits on myself sometimes. At the time, I was also into very dark humor. I still am, but I'm more aware of what's too far and what's acceptable.
I was in 7th or 8th grade, at this time a lot of my friends made Holocaust jokes and other dark jokes (about like 9/11, death, suicide, etc.) And I'm not sharing this information to legitimize what I did. I take full responsibility and I'm simply sharing as to why I found what I did to seem somewhat acceptable.
With an eyeliner pen I drew a portrait of Hitler and a swastika under it. To me, it was just funny dark humor. I had Jewish friends at the time that found it funny too. My friend's took a picture. I'm not sure if the photo has my face or body in it. It could have my face or just my arm/ leg where it was drawn. I'm not sure.
I'm 16 years old now, I'll be 17 in a few months. I fully regret doing this. Besides the stupidity this act was in terms of leaving a bad digital footprint, it was just very wrong to do. I didn't really understand the severity of the Holocaust and many other traumatic world events at this time. Even then, my dark humor jokes weren't to delegitimize the horrors in the world-- it was simply funny to me because it was so awful. I guess I kinda had the humor of like a 12 year old boy. Half of my family is Jewish, I'm not. I was used to making these types of jokes with my Jewish family/ friends. This was another reason I was so horribly insensitive to the perils of the swastika. I truly regret it. And it kind of haunts me to this day. If I think about it now I cringe in fear.
I don't know if this picture will ever be seen again. I believe I asked my friend to delete it after once I'd realized the problem-- but I don't know who might have it what it might show. It's definitely nerve wracking but that's how it is when you take these types of risks. Maybe I'll have to live with unfortunate consequences from this one photo I took when I was 13. And even if I was only 13 I get that I still need to live with that. All I can do at this point is apologize/ recognize my mistake and stop worrying about it.
Now, I would never make such an inappropriate joke or draw such a truly disgusting image on myself or anywhere. I have never affiliated myself with the Natzi party nor do I ever intend on doing so. I think Hitler was one of the worst, quite possibly the worst, human to walk this earth. I apologize for this insensitive act I committed and hope if there are any people that affiliate with the groups harmed by Hitle the swastika, that they can accept my apologize. I am sorry.
submitted by KidsInMyBasement666 to u/KidsInMyBasement666 [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:04 slapchopchap Slaps Plans For Thursday October 29 2020

Hello everyone hope you made it though today mostly undamaged - with the futures as deep red as they were I converted 1/2 my positions into cash premarket and wound up bailing on AEMD + ARTL (I did not exit green on those at all but was able to limit loss to 1 penny a share or less)
Overall my account accepted a 0.7% drop today
Am still 1/2 cash at the moment and have limited my holdings (outside of my retirement account that also has VSTM / for printing covered calls)
GOVX @ 2.88 saw that wall crushing down in level 2 premarket so I punked out a penny bellow the wall and bought back in (2nd time pulling this on this one) light position here just looking to see if it pops a bonus payday
IMAC @ .82 Juggernaut unit showed in level 2 I dig it - I have a feeling it will have rising attenuation again Thursday- the wavelength today was .78xx thru .82xx - the same amount of money can still print if that wavelength happens to rise to .79xx and .83xx and beyond
GBR @ 1.52 i did some cost averaging on that early dip and it looks like after hours it pulled back to 1.52 again, seems to have been reliably running back up to 1.6x and boy do I have a feeling it will do it again
It definitely took a lot of dca and averaging to minimize the red on the account but compared to the overall market I definitely cannot complain. Happy hunting and see you in the morning!
submitted by slapchopchap to slapchopchap [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 01:27 WranglerResponsible4 My son’s mother has just announced she’s ‘terminating’ my contact

Please excuse any formatting issues or missed information. I’m in a bit of a panic/ heartbroken.
I’ve just had a message from the mother of my son (5) saying “on legal advice I am terminating your contact with [son] until this can all be sorted” although it’s not clear what she wants sorted? I don’t know what to do now, I was due to have him for Halloween, we made so many plans, my daughter is two and we were so excited for them to enjoy the weekend together. I know this isn’t the most pressing thing but for some reason it’s making me so sad.
Background: My son’s mother and I haven’t been together since before he was born.
She’s always been pretty awful to me, she doesn’t approve of anything I do and sends me long winded texts constantly trying to imply that I’m an awful parent while she’s perfect.
Ive never hurt him, never shouted at him, I always go out of my way to plan my weekends around his favourite things. Against me: I work a job which is unreliable and sometimes (not often) I have had to cancel or change plans quite last minute.
We’ve never had an official order in place but i was content with the contact I had in the early years. Unfortunately since the birth of my daughter (2) BM has regularly decided to change the arrangement going so far as to completely stop me having him overnight for almost a year. She always claims it’s in my son’s best interests but I truly believe it’s just a control thing. The changes always seem to coincide with happy occurrences in my life, as though she’s trying to bring me down.
There’s always something she thinks I’m doing wrong but nothing illegal/ dangerous, no drugs or alcohol issues. The latest issue was that when I sent him home he had a couple of little bruises I couldn’t definitively explain. He’s a five year old, we’d had an active weekend (basketball/ tennis/ swimming) he hadn’t complained and I hadn’t noticed. She made a massive deal out of it but it was nothing, or so I thought.
He’s a sensitive wee boy and because we are allowed to see so little of him, he can struggle with the transition sometimes. She is of the opinion that as soon as he cries at bedtime that he wants his mum I should be taking him home and calling it a day. I think that he’s never going to settle if we only see him every other weekend and keep cutting it
Sorry, I’m rambling. I don’t know what to do now. I haven’t responded, I already had an appointment with a solicitor to try and get an official order in place but that’s weeks away. I’m so lost.
submitted by WranglerResponsible4 to coparenting [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 01:26 DT37F1 cock

Like many of you, I fired up Mario Odyssey in honor of the games three year anniversary. And as I started playing a thought struck me: Mario has a massive schlong in this game.
Consider:
  1. Marionis defeated by Bowser in the opening cinematic and plummets to the ground from high atop an airship. This is a fatal fall. The only chance of survival would be either a parachute, which Mario clearly does not have, or helicopter dicking with a big enough dong to create an upforce to slow the fall. (Edited.) Original: Much like in my dreams.
  2. The main game mechanic - tossing cappy to capture other characters - would take incredible BDE
  3. There are 14 worlds in the game. In numerology, the number 14 is associated with an absolutely monster sized cock. We can all agree thats a big part of Mario Odyssey, right? BUT, having a 14 inch pinch would also hurt a woman and would have to mean he'd put it in my little boy anus.
  4. The Broodals are representations of the Moon Rabbit Motif. Rabbits fuck alot, I meant this ones kind of obvious.
  5. The first creature you possess in Mario Odyssey is a frog. A frog just happens to be the first animal that I put in my own asshole. Also: when stretched out, they are very long, a metaphor for Marios ding dong.
  6. Did you find it odd that Luigi and Yoshi aren't (initially) in the game? Well it makes sense now. Mario doesn't want them to see his raw sexual prowess.
  7. In Buddhism, a journey/odyssey is the most common metaphor for pounding my asshole.
So there ya have it, folks. Definitive, unequivocal, unimpeachable PROOF that our homeboy Mario has, alas, somw unbelievably large spaghetti and meatballs.
Fortunately, I think that playing the game is an opportunity for Mario to finally stretch my asshole another 3 inches. More on that later.
submitted by DT37F1 to JessieBuckleypics [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 01:23 Schwertmeisterin Is Girl Defined a cult?

Jimmy (Mr. Atheist) at the end of his latest Girl Defined video brought up how easy it would be for someone like himself to take advantage of a few of his followers, milk them for cash, and essentially start a "cult". Then he suggested this is exactly what Girl Defined is doing now because they're sellouts who are heavily censoring everything, hiding their shittiest content behind paywalls, and milking the few devout followers for money.
Now the real criteria for cults is the BITE model, so taking a look at it, it's a bit hard to distinguish Girl Defined-specific beliefs and fundie Christianity in general (which is a decentralized cult IMO), but some are quite clear. I'll copy/paste the ones I think apply and explain a few of them. I got this list from Telltale on YouTube.
Behavior Control
1b – Promote dependence and obedience: Pretty obvious, but they make you feel awful about being single and having a sex drive, so you become dependent on their material to obtain a husband and turn asexual until marriage. They also demand obedience to husbands and to them, lest you want to be deleted. They even do this to their own fans, per a Vice article.
2b – Modify behaviour with rewards and punishments: The Love Prosperity Gospel they shill is based on you getting rewarded with a husband if you follow the rules, and being punished with singleness if you don't.
3b – Dictate where and with whom you live: They highly suggest you live with parents until marriage and under no circumstances live with a boyfriend or fiance.
4b – Restrict or control sexuality: Do I even need to explain?
5b – Control clothing and hairstyle: Don't need to explain this. With the latest Halloween stuff, they're essentially labelling you as someone who "isn't one of them" if you wear anything slightly revealing.
8b – Exploit you financially: Girl Defined, using fundie culture, invented a disease (singleness, having a sex drive) and constantly demands money to support a "Sisterhood" and to get the cures to the problems they invented.
9b – Restrict leisure time and activities: While Birthy is lazy AF, they seek to control your leisure time by telling you to get rid of anything (music, TV, movies, friends) that don't agree with their beliefs. And of course, no porn or God won't give you a husband.
Information Control
1i – Deliberately withhold and distort information: Oh boy, if Girl Defined could be exemplified by any of these criteria, it would be this one. They distort the Bible to fit their agenda, they distort what happened with God is Grey, they delete comments that point out how wrong they are, they withhold so much information that I can't even list it all.
3i – Discourage access to non-cult sources of information: They definitely create a boogieman out of anything that goes against what they say, including other Christian authors. As in, someone on one of their blog posts suggested reading Rachel Held Evans (a mainline Christian) and they got deleted. They constantly recommend the same 5 books and tell followers to only read from Got Questions. Other sources are "bad".
4i – Divide information into Insider vs. Outsider doctrine: This one refers to the cult's public image being different than the insider image. And with people blogging about their conference, their tone is different and more hateful (if that's even possible!) We don't know what their internal doctrine is, but Jimmy Snow suggested it's really bad.
5i – Generate and use propaganda extensively They vomit pastels and shitty graphics on IG, their videos, books, and blog are also propaganda.
7i – Gaslight to make you doubt your own memory: They deleted all their shitty blog posts and act like they never existed. They conveniently forgot about Project Modesty, broke their rules, and deleted it like it never existed. Birthy is now claiming she went to college and has a job, despite saying in the past she never did these things.
Thought Control
1t – Instill Black vs. White, Us vs. Them, & Good vs. Evil thinking: No need to explain.
3t – Use loaded language and cliches to stop complex thought Read a Girl Defined blog post. Look at how they shut down thoughts into simple black/white thinking and how their thoughts are the correct thoughts.
5t – Teach thought-stopping techniques to prevent critical thoughts: They do this a lot. If you think about boys, repeat a Bible verse in your head. etc.
6t – Allow only positive thoughts: Actually, they do the opposite: allow only negative thoughts.
7t – Use excessive meditation, singing, prayer, & chanting to block thoughts: They advocate for prayer to do this
8t – Reject rational analysis, critical thinking, & doubt: Rationality is the enemy of Girl Defined. Any sort of critical thought towards them is mere persecution and they are the most correct people on Earth.
Emotional Control
2e – Label some emotions as evil, worldly, sinful, or wrong: They jack this up to 100000 and label almost all emotions as evil and sinful. "Crazy Girl Emotions" amirite?
3e – Teach emotion-stopping techniques to prevent anger, homesickness: They believe it isn't "feminine" to be angry, but it'll be interesting if Ellissa writes about how she stops being homesick when she's shipped off to Ukraine.
4e – Promote feelings of guilt, shame, & unworthiness: Holy shit, do I even need to explain? Specifically, they target single women into feeling shame for being single.
5e – Shower you with praise and attention (“love bombing”): This is something I've only been able to gather from Oh No Ross and Carrie plus other people who covered the conference, but if you stay in line, you'd get love-bombed. Anyone who dissented from the majority like the Christian who said to love everyone, including the LGBT, got attacked.
7e – Shun you if you disobey or disbelieve : Anyone who doesn't believe like they do will get kicked out of their insider groups. They did it to the aforementioned LGBT girl.
submitted by Schwertmeisterin to FundieSnarkUncensored [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 01:21 zer0duncan i (18 they/them) am so fucking depressed, bored, upset, and anxious all the time. i just want a change.

i don't know if im allowed to post rants on here without asking for any advice, so if im not, i apologise. but i really need somewhere to voice my thoughts and feelings at the moment.
first of all, im so fucking bored all the time. my daily routine has been the exact same for the past year of my life - i wake up, do school (im in college for music production), and then i just sit in my room and do basically nothing for the rest of the day until i go to bed. it's so boring and lonely. i want to make my daily routine a little more fun and exciting, but it's kind of hard to do that since i have barely any friends and i can't drive, nor do i have any money or a job (i applied for a job, but i still haven't heard anything back.) my constant boredom has just been making my depression much much worse, as i feel lonely and bored all the time and it reminds me of the fact that im broke, lonely, jobless, and unable to bring myself wherever i want without having to ask my mom or my best friend to drive me there. ive tried going for walks so i can at least get out of the house, but it gets boring so quickly because i have nobody to walk with and there's really nowhere to go. ive tried all the different routes and such, but it's still just so boring and lonely without anybody to walk with and nowhere to go.
i also don't even have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, because every girl or boy that i try to talk to just ends up getting tired of me or finding me annoying, so that definitely adds to my loneliness. ive had one serious girlfriend in my whole entire life, but she broke up with me after putting me through emotional hell, which just added to my depression, so basically all i can do while im sitting in my room all day is think about her and miss her and wonder if she even regrets any of the things she's done to me, even though she has another boyfriend. i want love, but everybody finds me annoying and unattractive and insecure. i am annoying and unattractive and insecure, but i never let it get to me. it's something i try to keep to myself as much as i can.
i just want change - i want to not be bored all the time, i want to be happy and have a bunch of awesome friends and a girlfriend, i want to have money, i want to be able to drive, i want to have a life - but i don't have a life. im bored, lonely, broke, jobless, and i have a desperate want for love. im not trying to ask for advice, but if somebody wouldn't mind giving some or wouldn't mind messaging me and starting a friendship, i would really love that :( xx 💜
submitted by zer0duncan to depressed [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 01:17 uswin Dont sleep on 3rd person vr games !!!!

There are few oculus exclusives game that exactly just like what the title said, chronos, the edge of nowhere.
Chronos feels like combination of zelda/dark souls with static camera like early resident evil, and to be honest, this is probably the best action rpg game i have ever play in my life, vr really add immersivenes even to 3rd person game, please you have to play CHRONOS to see what im talking about, my mind definitely blown.
The way the developer put the static camera at certain angle/spot really add the tension especially during boss fight or when you see an ominous looking creature, this create amazing cinematography that perhaps has been lost since 360 freedom camera been implemented in most 3rd person game nowadays. This game is no joke guys, seriously. Try it from oculus store and play with link / virtual desktop with xbox controler.
Then the edge of nowhere, with over the shoulder camera, boy oh boy, after playing this game, you have no idea how much i wish every fuckin 3rd person game like uncharted, tomb raider, last of us, alan wake , silent hill be played this way. So freakin imersive, i feel like a spectator watching over the shoulder of my char. I felt So immerse in that world.
I really wish dev and people are not sleeping on those two hidden gem. Those are very early oculus game when they still dont have hand controler, only xbox joystick. But this makes me realize that 3rd person game in vr is wild, sometime unpredictably fun, and very very amazing. You never know what you are missing until you play it.
Please dev, once vr goes mainstream someday, for god sake, keep making 3rd person games, dont sleep on them. Keep making the next chronos, the next edge of nowhere, the next luckys tale, the next moss.
Thanks for listening to my rant.
submitted by uswin to OculusQuest [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 00:33 StarcraftWithoutShad After getting frustrated with how my essays were going, I intentionally wrote the worst essay of all time as a goof to let off some steam. Here it is, for your viewing pleasure.

Essay A: What matters most to you, and why?
Combined word count not to exceed 1,050
Merriam Webster defines the word palpable as “(of a feeling or atmosphere) so intense as to seem almost tangible. That night, the energy in that room is palpable.
Like many people my age, I am 26. And almost a third of 26 years olds have had a parent die, so I intend to write my essay about the death of a parent before focusing in on some vague narrative about overcoming adversity.
The clock read 5:52 AM. Saturday, the 29th of November, 2014. My brother’s voice pierced the still atmosphere of my domicile – a sharp contrast to the cool 15C air – and woke me from my stupor.
“WTF, DAD DIED.”
My world was shattered. God had just taken away everything I had, and worse yet, I had a calculus final the very next day. This prevented me from studying for it and explains my 3.1 GPA which would have been a 4.0 otherwise. My dad had died, but that didn’t distract me to what mattered most: overcoming adversity.
I awakened the next morning and positioned on a luxuriant veneer of eye black upon my face. Did I broach the topic that I played the position of offensive tackle on my university’s American football team, and it was the day of the big game? It was of the upmost important I remained austere and became the quintessence of a model. My phone rang. It was coach.
“I heard what happened. Sit the game out. We’ll just lose and mis—“
“SHUT UP COACH,” I interrupted, “we’re going to win. I’m going to play.”
Coach looked at me and said “This is – this is what it means to be a Stanford man. Today, I recognize that you truly are a man among boys.”
After the big game, I decided to do a mission trip to the country of Africa. I thought I would teach the people there so much and improve their lives, but they’re really the ones that changed me. I specifically remember watching a young Nicaraguan girl – Olga – dance in front of the fire in exchange for potable water and money. The work ethic of those people really is the best. This experience taught me the importance of overcoming adversity, and the 3 days I spent there outside of our resort made me a more caring and global person.
I know what it’s like to overcome adversity. I started as a baby, and now I’m here.
This experience taught me a lot. I am incredibly valuable for future society because I now understand what it means to overcome adversity. How am I going to showcase this at your school? By combating racism, sexism, and all forms of discrimination. Leland Stanford was a racist asshole and I’m going to ghost fuck his spirit and tea bag him. After that I am going to recruit MBB or PE maybe.
Essay B: Why Stanford?
The reasons that I have for wishing to go to Harvard are several. I feel that Harvard can give me a better background and a better liberal education than any other university. I have always wanted to go there, as I have felt that it is not just another college, but is a university with something definite to offer. Then too, I would like to go to the same college as my father. To be a "Harvard man" is an enviable distinction, and one that I sincerely hope I shall attain.
submitted by StarcraftWithoutShad to MBA [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 00:30 CyborgAlucard I'm hoping this SubReddit can help me find a game I'm thinking of, as r/tipofmyjoystick is way too strict on their post wording.

So I have this game from memory that I'm trying to think of the name of. My grandmother and I played tons of JRPG's growing up but this is the one that name escapes me. And I've done so much looking into it that I'm starting to think it was a fever dream.
But the game came out on either the PS2, Gamecube, or Dreamcast. Definitely that era at least.
There was a boy and a girl protagonist. The Boy was Orange color themed and I think he fought with a Hammer and the girl was Pink color themed and fought with a frying pan?? I think it had a top down-ish dungeon exploring camera kinda like Persona 3.
I know this kinda sounds like Dark Cloud, it's not Dark Cloud.
submitted by CyborgAlucard to rpg_gamers [link] [comments]